Give me some dialogue from your day

[Chromatic]

[QUOTE 2383544, member: 259"](Obviously this was all done in fluent Dutch , but I freely translate into English)

Me:
Good afternoon Mr Bus Driver. As you can see, there is a total whiteout and there is already knee-high snow on the ground, would you mind terribly bending the rules just once and allowing me to exceptionally put my bike on the bus through the voluminous double doors and into the massive space available for prams and wheelchairs?
Bus driver:
No, you can't.
Me:
But the bus is empty.
Bus driver:
No. It might be dangerous.[/quote]


What's Dutch for nobber? (bus driver, not you)

 

[GrasB]

A Jeans Voigt moment.. BOAB style

Me: It hurts
Myself: ...and?
Me: It's cold
Myself: Be quiet!
Me: I'm in pain
Myself: SHUT THE F**K UP!

 

[Chromatic]

[QUOTE 2391085, member: 259"]There is a good Flemish word, Dikke Nek, but this might not be understood everywhere, so if you want to insult any Dutch speaker, you can just say Eikel![/quote]

I'll have to remember that, our parent company are Dutch.

 

[stowie]

Little Miss Stowie (aged 4 3/4) : Daddy - how does the message from mummy's phone go to Grandma's house?
Me (Deep breath) : Well, the message is turned into electricity..
LMS : What is electricity?
Me (Even Deeper breath) : Electricity is what makes the lights bright and powers the computers...
LMS : But how does the message get to Grandma?
Me : Well it goes from Mummy's phone to a base station via radio waves where it then gets sent to Grandma's phone
LMS : What are radio waves?
Me : They are invisible....
LMS : Like magic?
Me : Well not really like magic..
LMS (Eyes narrow hands on hip) : Well, I don't think you are right, Mummy didn't say the message was sent by (waves arms at this point to indicate incredulity) radio waves.
Me : So what did Mummy say then?
LMS : She said it was magic
Me : Wish I had said that..

 

[Matthew_T]

Me and my dad have just been for a walk along the beach. We have been up to the waters edge and now walking back to the prom.

Dad: Oh, thats a nice shell!
Me: *Crunch*
Dad: Hey! Dont do that I was trying to pick it up.
Me: I know.

Dad goes to pick up another.
Me: *Crunch*
Dad: Stop it!

This continues about 3 more times until I stand on his foot.

Dad: I'm gunna get this one!
Me: No your not! *Stands on dads foot*
Dad: Argh! Dont stand on my feet!
Me: Dont put your feet where I'm standing!
Dad:
Me:

 

[Night Train]

From yesterday:

Mum: Have you had Eccles cakes before?
Dad: No.
Mum: They have raisins, or sultanas, in them.
Dad: It's like lotus paste.
Mum: No, Eccles cakes. They have raisins, or sultanas, in them. I'll get some tomorrow.
Dad: Yeah, its like lotus paste.
Mum: No, Eccles cakes! They have raisins, or sultanas, in them! You'll see when I get some.
Dad: No, its stuff like lotus paste!
Mum: Have you had Eccles cakes before?
Dad: No.
Mum: They have raisins, or sultanas, in them.
Dad: It's like lotus paste....

And so it went on, round and round....


We had Eccles cakes today. No one commented on them.

 

[Arch]

From yesterday:

Mum: Have you had Eccles cakes before?
Dad: No.
Mum: They have raisins, or sultanas, in them.
Dad: It's like lotus paste.
Mum: No, Eccles cakes. They have raisins, or sultanas, in them. I'll get some tomorrow.
Dad: Yeah, its like lotus paste.
Mum: No, Eccles cakes! They have raisins, or sultanas, in them! You'll see when I get some.
Dad: No, its stuff like lotus paste!
Mum: Have you had Eccles cakes before?
Dad: No.
Mum: They have raisins, or sultanas, in them.
Dad: It's like lotus paste....

And so it went on, round and round....


We had Eccles cakes today. No one commented on them.

I can just imagine it....;

 

[gbb]

We have a guy at work who i always have 'interesting' conversations with...he's heavily into wierd technologies, 'imagine if you could do that' kinda things.
Richard..'They've invented stuff that can work off your brain waves ..imagine that, answering the phone by just thinking it, doing stuff by just thinking it'
Me...'i'd like to see that, i'd attach it to my dog and see what happens '
'Eh, why would you do that ?
'You've seen dogs when you're going to take them for a walk...all mental, i always imagine the short circuiting going on inside their brains, must be like a firework display , i reckon you'd blow everything up'

Richard...bloody hell .

 

[GrasB]

Person 1: You have 3 problems.
Person 2: Hu?
Person 1: You're an idiot & stupid
Person 2: *beeeeep*. stupid & idiot are only 2!
Person 1: Exactly, 3 things! Now get out of my sight
Person 2:

 

[gbb]

Last week I told the wife...'That's the best cottage pie I ever tasted ' She does make my favourite just the way I like it.

Today, I made cottage pie for us and our grandson. I thoroughly enjoyed it, the wife wasn't going to be outdone and said
'it was ..ok '
My reply...
'Well I think that's the best cottage pie I ever tasted '

She looked at me...
..'you'd better get used to making them then'

 

[ColinJ]

ColinJ (to friend in Heptonstall cafe, about takeaway tea/coffee/chip butty, while paying at till): "Have you got everything?"
Friend: "Yes."

(We leave the cafe and walk 250 yards up the hill to a bench overlooking the ruins of Heptonstall's original church)

ColinJ to friend: "Can I have my coffee, please?"
Friend: "I haven't got your coffee!"
ColinJ: "I asked you in the cafe if you had everything."
Friend: "Oh, I thought you meant everything of mine!"

(I leave a bench overlooking the ruins of Heptonstall's original church and walk 250 yards down the hill to the cafe)

ColinJ (to man behind counter in Heptonstall cafe, who is staring at my takeaway coffee on the counter): "I believe that is my coffee!"
Man: "Why didn't you take it with you?"
ColinJ: "The question 'Have you got everything?' was interpreted as "Have you got your tea and chip butty? Oh, and leave the coffee behind'!"
Man: "Ha ha ha!"

 

[ufkacbln]

Gosport Ferry this afternoon with Catrike

Young child turns to Dad and says:

Dad, is that a camping bicycle ?

 

[ufkacbln]

One of those days... I was at the Dalek event at the Royal Marines Museum, and parking the Catrike with fairing...

Which episode did your spacecraft appear in?

 

[subaqua]

me to youngest son. - what u looking all guilty for
YS - nothing ( he then shoots out of room sharpish)
me YS get here NOW!!! as i discover he has been playing with the almost complete airfix model we have built together and has broken off a few items. ( nothing that can't be reattached )

 

[Stephenite]

New guy just arrived in the next door holiday home tried chatting me up. His road bike is on the roof of the his car and I'm outside cleaning the chains on our 2 road bikes after today's ride.
next line was "I'm doing a 60 niner tomorrow..."
"yeh - so am I"
Not sure it was the response he was after - he left without saying another word and I'm left wondering what I've said! Think I may have meant to have been more impressed!

Please, let me know if i'm out of order.