FNRttC Friday Night Ride to the Coast in aid of Martlets Hospice 2nd September 2011

[Mark Grant]

I had persuaded a couple of friends to register for this ride, I had told them that I was marshalling Tooting Broadway and would then catch them up and ride with them for the rest of the route. This plan changed when Simon came past with the back markers and asked me to whizz up to Coulsdon to cover a sharp left in the road.

So off I sped, stopping briefly at Mitcham loos where I spotted a mate to tell him I’d probably catch him at the half way stop. I moved up through the ride as fast as I could until I saw Mike Morley and his manhole. Mike directed me to the bend in the road that needed marshalling and of I went.

I had only been there a couple of minutes when I was approached out of the darkness by an elderly gentleman.

‘Hello’ I said.

‘I’m lost’ he replied, where does that road go?

‘Brighton’ I said!

I asked where he lived and he told me How Lane, which was where we were standing. I asked if he had a phone number of someone I could call for him but he said no and tootled of.

A few minutes later a middle aged chap came up to me. I asked if he was looking for an old man and he said that he had just knocked at his door, I told him of my encounter and he returned home to call the police. The police came past and went down the lane and then a while later an ambulance stopped and asked if I was waiting for them. I told them about the old man, guessing that that was their mission and off they went too.

Once the vans turned up I went on, riding with User10571 up to Reigate hill and then with Mike Morley after. Mike and I stopped for a photo at the glitzy junction manned by Miranda, Marna? & Mr Hall Jr.

And then on through the colourfully marked lanes to the halfway stop. I thought the combination of glowsticks, balloons, solar lights, glowing balls, signs etc. worked very well and made me smile.



Just a quick stop for tea, sarnies and cake at the halfway as my friends had already been there a while. The rest of the ride was then much more relaxed. My mate Graham and I ended up cycling along together through the misty dark just stopping for a quick chat with some of the marshalls.

I really enjoyed the stretch after Turners Hill, going at a good pace in dead quiet with the lights making the mist glow.

A short stop at the top of Ditchling and then on into Brighton for breakfast.

 

[Aperitif]

Nice one, Mark - (your bike was a nice 'glitzy' affair too BTW). The Marlets sedate Sussex meander is not proving to be very exciting is it? Fighting, police, GBH, ambulances, drunks, threatened ABH of a charity cyclist.. not to mention an absolute 'tap in' for the winner of best naff Hawaiian shirt competition post-ride. tut tut. When are we going to get some adventure back into cycling?


In other news:
For sale. Excellent sig line - hardly used. One careful owner.

I merely adjudged it to be the correct moment.

 

[Sketchley]

Enjoyed that a lot. Being on a deadline to get back for the rugby at Twickenham I found myself pushing on from Marshalling at Mitcham to catch the front. Fate intervened as I spot a poor soul with a puncture and no equipment waiting for the van. My spare tubes didn't fit his wheels so patches it was.l and after two inflations, the first resulting in an incorrect tyre fitting, I was off again. A mad dash from there although I did say hello to everyone I passed and stopped to make sure people were ok and I got to half way stop about 3.15 quite pleased with my pace but someway still off the front, this despite a detour via Gatwick Holiday inn having missed a left turn. After a 20 min sandwich stop I was off again only to not know which way to go at end of lane and with half a dozen cyclist looking to me for guidance, note to self take all the maps with you not just Marshalling instructions.

Then off towards the beacon and the big target of the day get up it in one. Unfortunately my knees didn't play ball and despite having to power and energy sheer pain forced me to abandon 3/4 of the way up having done the steep parts, bugger. Walked the last bit and then headed direct to Brighton station for 5.56 to Victoria. By the sounds of things I was 2 hours off the front I can only account for about 60 or so minutes of that stopped so well done those setting that pace.
Got back home and was rested enough to watch the mighty Quins beat the not nots at Twickenham then some good drinking after.

Can't wait for the next one.

Chris W

 

[TimO]

... The Marlets sedate Sussex meander is not proving to be very exciting is it? Fighting, police, GBH, ambulances, drunks, threatened ABH of a charity cyclist.. ...

You missed a firework being thrown at a marshal.

A great ride by and large, although I suspect that realistically we need more marshals, although this is probably a limitation that Simon had no control over. We really need a couple of people at each location, to provide moral support, and to allow for the occasional missing person, for whatever reason.

I stopped and chatted to a few of the Marshals, especially on the second half, where some of them had been there for several hours. The latter part of the ride had people coming through somewhat more slowly and separated by big gaps, so the chances of human interaction were light! Unfortunately we need them to stay there that long, because many of them only just managed to get there before the first riders.

 

[TimO]

Looking at the route for the second half, I hadn't previously realised that we pass a Folders Lane just before Ditchling. Definitely an excuse to do the ride on a Brompton, and get a snap!

 

[Aperitif]

You missed a firework being thrown at a marshal.

A great ride by and large, although I suspect that realistically we need more marshals, although this is probably a limitation that Simon had no control over. We really need a couple of people at each location, to provide moral support, and to allow for the occasional missing person, for whatever reason.

I stopped and chatted to a few of the Marshals, especially on the second half, where some of them had been there for several hours. The latter part of the ride had people coming through somewhat more slowly and separated by big gaps, so the chances of human interaction were light! Unfortunately we need them to stay there that long, because many of them only just managed to get there before the first riders.

Absolutely right, Tim - thank you for reminding me. Particularly as it was lovely Pippsy, who was standing in for me as I was trying to race back and forth with a very important key to the public conveniences in Reigate. Of course, when the demand came from a needy rider, would the key fit?
It fitted like an image of Claudine donning a twinset with pearls and attending the Ladies Only meetings at the Tory conference. As Tim H and Adrian mentioned, maybe one of these would be a good 'ride tool' - subject to the usual responsibe use etc?

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Simon's two panniered friend, a West Ham supporter (I barely recognise a football jersey when I see one, let alone know who it represents!) who had been getting a bit nervous cycling through there by herself.

My next-door-neighbour Ros, as it happens. I didn't put her up to the panniers, their contents or the pants under cycling shorts which caused a litte...ahem... discomfort.

 

[Aperitif]

Is your next-door neighbour Rosalind, Greg? Well, 'I'll-be-knocked-down-by-a-one-time-referee-wearing-a-trendy-cycling-cap-with-badge- and-looking-younger-than-his-years' cyclist! David and I rode along with her toward Brighton. Say hello etc..!

Meanwhile, Greg, the epitome of sartorial elegance (sorry again, Adrian) was resplendent:

EDIT: Of course, there is no law against more than one person being called 'Ros' - it would, however be coincidental if two women were wearing West Ham shirts. DesO would have felt comforted, I'm sure...

 

[Flying Dodo]

Another enjoyable chapter in the friendly encyclopaedia of night riding.

Having spent the day splashing around in the sea and lounging on the beach at Bognor, I'd got to Victoria in the company of 2 of the Martlets riders, and reassured them about the delights that awaited them.

It was nice to see everyone at the start, although apologies for confusing people by a) not wearing a helmet like I usually do, and b) wearing normal glasses rather than my cycling ones.

Although the marshals set off from the car park at 11.20, we all got a bit divided by the lights, and in any event we left Team Martin at Clapham Common. The rest of us set a fast pace, although Davey was further ahead so I was hoping (as proved correct later on) that he got to his junction OK. Unfortunately, I realised that I'd forgotten to bring along Simon's last email of final instructions so I wasn't aware that Miranda and Marna were making their own way to the start of the Badlands, so as I assumed they were running late, I'd asked Des to hang around for a bit at the start. Poor Des then had to sprint to catch us up - sorry Des.

Anyway, we dropped people off and I dropped off a few of my coloured balls in the Badlands as markers. I think the first riders came through just over 15 minutes after Des and I set up at our junction, so about the same as last year. Considering the first few riders were mainly on bling carbon bikes, we were impressed that in the first 20 or so, there were a number on hybrids with chunky tyres. There then followed a fairly constant stream of riders coming out of the mist of the Badlands. Most were in groups of 5-20 or so, and there were very few solo riders. A big change from last year was that most riders seemed to have decent lights - and some put out far more lumens than my collection. A couple of riders did seem to have failing batteries and if I'd thought about it, I should have brought a selection of cheap batteries for them to use. Mind you, one rider had 8 front lights, and 5 rear lights so that would have taken a fair number of batteries!

I only had one mechanical to deal with, which was a rubbing mudguard, caused when the rider had accidently kicked it, so that it was jamming against the tyre. That was swiftly dealt with. About the only other issue was a few riders not believing us when we told them it was only 5-7 minutes to the feed stop (which it really was). It seems that the last few groups of marshals had also been saying the same thing!

By 4 am, it seemed as though all the riders had gone through, so I headed back into the Badlands and met up with the Halls, Miranda and Marna who were collecting up all the glow sticks and signs. Then it was a quick sprint to the school to help finish up their supplies of sandwiches and cake.

I did see an odd sight there:-

I then headed off south although after Turners Hill, I had to keep the speed up, as I had to get back to Bognor fairly early. It was a real pain with the mist, as I couldn't see out of my glasses at all, so had to squint short-sightedly over them into the gloom. So I ended up getting into Brighton at 7 am, to loads of cheers although I did keep saying there was no need, as I was a marshal!

Apologies therefore that I couldn't stay for the usual post ride training sessions.

Well done to everyone involved.

 

[Aperitif]

Your glowing balls in Badlands were a sight to behold, Adam!

 

[TimO]

My next-door-neighbour Ros, as it happens. I didn't put her up to the panniers, their contents or the pants under cycling shorts which caused a litte...ahem... discomfort.

Yes, she did mention that she wasn't entirely comfortable, so I was happy to see her cross the finish line only a little while after I had sat down for my breakfast at the Madeira, since I'd half expected her to abandon at the halfway stop. She said she was a runner, but hadn't done much cycling for many years, so it was probably a bad idea to cycle that distance with little experience of more than short distances on a ride! Tell her to listen to what people tell her next time she does such a long cycle, and not carry two panniers! I can understand people not buying cycling shorts just for such an event, but someone needs to point out that if they do wear them, they are in effect underwear!

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Being a marshaleer-lite, travelling to the appointed place directly, albeit the long way, from home, dodging the raining trees, gives a very different perspective on the ride. Slugwash at 02:37, having missed Lindfield Matt be mere seconds, is a strange place to stop and stand and watch the world (not) go by.

First my tesco torch worked for all of two minutes, and still isn't after a swap to fresh batteries, and this made finding the signs let alone putting them up a challenge by the feeble light of a BlackBerry screen. When I did an artic steamed by and blew them over. Then one fell over on its own and frightened the **** out of me as it hit the tarmac.

My attempt to festoon the road sign with my, err, well, festoon actually, failed as soon as I hit the on switch. Possibly a dodo may have been more useful, the lights where as dead as one. Need to think it through a bit more for 'next year'. Perhaps marshals should all wear Hawaiian shirts when on duty to convince the riders of their authority?

Then like an oncoming dawn the fast boys arrived. We had a chat, DavyWalnuts offered Kendal Mint Cake, we laughed like drains and then with the glow of more lights appearing in the distance off they sped. Andy did look somewhat well chilled when I passed him at Wivelsfield some hours later, thanks to On-One and Merino wool I was toasty. Matt texted me he was drinking tea. I remembered I'd left my flask off coffee and hip flask on the kitchen side in my hurried exit from home having nodded off on the sofa at about 01:00 am.

After the first fast five a trickle came through and the shortcomings of being the disembodied voice in the dark dressed in black became apparent. I moved myself and my bike hither and thither to get into riders' eyelines but it wasn't going to happen. After two near misses and a number of bizarre conversations along the lines of

Me "TURN LEFT"
Him: "What?"
Me: "LEFT, TURN LEFT"
Him: "Turn right?"
Me: (thinks 'where is the right turn?') "LEFT!"
Him: "Oh OK" and goes straight on.

I checked with Matt to find he was having the same struggle. Tired people, heads down, not familiar with the route.

One group ascended to me muttering darkly, how sound carries as night, about the command to turn left at the previous junction. I am certain no marshal uttered such nonsense, rather I suppose chinese whispers at work amongst the members of the wearthefecarwee tribe riding in groups. The 'right' becomes 'left' and vice versa as it passes down the line.

Some time passed during which the trickle became a flood and I flexed my tec skills on three bso's, twice with success and once, well I didn't make it worse, and with only a few more smidsy moments dawn began to break. In a lull I was inspected, nay questioned, by a passing police patrol. I made muster with my explanation and off they went. Two or three ride regulars offered to relieve me of my post to allow me to sprint to Brighton but I politely declined.

In the manner of all marshals on any endurance event it was my duty to be unremittingy cheerful to the last third of the riders and give them a big smile and a jovial 'good morning' before instructing them to turn left and take care on the downhill. theclaud and adrian arrived, theclaud got a hug, adrian didn't but didn't seem put out for all that. marna came and went

Team Hall rolled up, and waves of Pino, and tbh balloon, induced envy swept over me. Ros or "West Ham" as she had been christened on the ride finally hove into view accompanied, loosely by Matt and the TECS and Simon providing a eerie echo of my 'turn left and take care on the downhill'.

Off we went. As we all no brakes are for stopping not slowing down so Matt and I quickly dropped the crew as gravity acted on my substantial mass, I start to mash when WTF! there is a lorry coming UP slugwash lane. Campag dual pivots work quite well, not quite up there with Avid Elixirs or BB7's but pretty good.

We come upon a forlorn group of (gormless) youth starring, nay pouting at a punctured wheel. Leaving them in the capable hands of adrian, we continued, my conscience salved by not having any 26" schraeder tubes aboard. I ride for a while with WestHamRos, have a debate on the merits of helmet wearing in which I can only express an unhelpful ambivalence and suddenly its the Beacon.

Then a bit later it isn't. Some atop express shock that I've ridden up. I'm just smug that I didn't puke and muse upon how it was easier pulling a longer gear while explaining I've not come as far as them. Into Brighton in the fog, and every traffic light on Ditchling Road, etc, is red.

Breakfast. My sparkling conversation sends Stuart to sleep and I can scarcely muster two coherent words to say to Olaf. I am reminded by theclaud that I promised to stay for beer. Stuart wakes from his slumber and look frankly relieved I've changed my mind about draughting him west. I'm not that slow mate honest 15mph average on my commute these days, not bad for a fat lad.

Liquid, yellow, is eventually taken on amongst much laughter in good company. My arse interfeces with my can and sends it flying. Some old bloke in dodgy sun glasses turns up and then leaves with his body servant in tow. A real life hero rides up en route to Cape Town or somewhere and gets his bike vandalised. Someone in a corsa gets a ticket from a bicycle 'cop' who we accuse of riding a Raleigh 20. Susie makes a speech. Simon dribbled. But then Susie is a babe so who can blame him. It becomes apparent that anyone who sits next to me is asleep in seconds, this does little for my self-esteem.

Suddenly, all those Dr Who episodes start to make sense. There is a time rift in the universe and we have fallen through it. In the space of what felt like 15 mins hours have gone by, and we are all hungry. It's chip o'clock, and what prodigous chips they turn out to be. CC needs a forum dedicated to the vinegar debate where the question can be resolved once and for all. The old guy comes back, attracted by the aroma of the chips no doubt and heroically buys more yellow beer and over a third can the chips are despatched with a side order of laughs and entertaining conversation.

It's time for me to make a move, and 'go west old man'. Susie tells me the headwinds have done for Stuart and he is entrained. With three pints inside me headwinds are the least of my problem. Plan is to coast it to Barnham and train it home from there. I take my leave. At Shoreham I think, cycling is free, getting a train isn't, and peel off right and north up the Adur valley. One of those rides when the pedals seem to turn themselves and you go up the hills without even noticing them. I may prep on beer chips and no sleep more often. Sweet.

The Martlets do great work, like the whole hospice movement, and it is a pleasure to do something n support of them, and see people challenge themselves and come through in the process. The pleasure is doubled when you get to do it in the company of the marshalleers.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Is your next-door neighbour Rosalind, Greg? Well, 'I'll-be-knocked-down-by-a-one-time-referee-wearing-a-trendy-cycling-cap-with-badge- and-looking-younger-than-his-years' cyclist! David and I rode along with her toward Brighton. Say hello etc..!

One and the same, an done of the best neighbours a chap could ask for.

She was partying last night and was 'moving freely' this morning. I could not resist poping a congratualtions card through her door with a 'see you next year' on it!

 

[Aperitif]

Was it OCD or just an unhappy life?

 

[Aperitif]

One and the same, an done of the best neighbours a chap could ask for.

She was partying last night and was 'moving freely' this morning. I could not resist poping a congratualtions card through her door with a 'see you next year' on it!

Great! It was her son's seventeenth birthday on Friday (I think) and I asked if the party included her leaving the house in the steady hands of a responsibly aged individual...
Her reply "No fear! My next door neighbour is some grumpy old sod who gripes every time we throw our grass cuttings over the fence into his... He'll only moan from now until next pancake Tuesday if there is so much as a small fire in the front garden..."