I don't feel any better for not drinking (all this "after I few days I felt full of energy and slept so much better" is utter bollocks to me)
This. I've had three days without beer. I have sacrificed sleep and pleasure for no discernible improvement in anything except the wallet. I have had three beers tonight and feel marvellous.
I am aware that it is more complicated than this. I walk an uneasy line between hedonism and alcoholism, and I don't wish to trivialize the prospect of becoming dependent on booze. My brief flirtations with sobriety are really about protecting the pleasure of drinking - if you need booze more than you want it, it compromises the pleasure and threatens the prospect of future pleasures. I have survived a dry February before (which, despite Smeggers' gloom, is already a more hideous month than January) and, this year, have endured a Christmas where booze was relegated to a coping mechanism. The trick is not to imagine that there is a perfect life without booze, or to kid yourself that booze will make a bad life better, but to bring the joy of life and the joy of intoxication crashing together.