Depression. It's back.

[Twenty Inch]

Coming and going at the moment. This weekend is the first for a long time that SWMBO and I haven't had a fight, which is good, but I dropped the baby down the cellar stairs, which is bad.

Thanks everyone

 

[Twenty Inch]

He's ok, btw, bruise on head, matching one on arse, but otherwise fine.

 

[Sapper]

Glad you both survived...

keep it up

Adrian

 

[Twenty Inch]

Signed off work, taking the meds. Feel fricking terrible about myself and everything else. Need to do some work and try and get well. In a bad place.

 

[domtyler]

I have no idea or real impression what clinical depression is like to live with fortunately. I guess it is just like a very bad mood that you can't shift?

In any case, I wish you all the best in tackling it 20", I am sure you will see it through in time.

 

[Speicher]

I have no idea or real impression what clinical depression is like to live with fortunately. I guess it is just like a very bad mood that you can't shift?

In any case, I wish you all the best in tackling it 20", I am sure you will see it through in time.

If you describe Depression as "a bad mood you cannot shift", I think we can tell that you have been lucky and not encountered it.

We all feel depression in many different ways. This is how I felt.

I felt disconnected from people around me, bored beyond comprehension with the tedium of life, absolutely exhausted, (but not sleeping properly). I found it difficult to have people around me, or noise or bright lights etc. I could not see things improving, and nothing interested me at all.

I hesitate to give advice to people with Depression. Except they should try to find a good counsellor. Try to avoid joining the NHS waiting list for it. Pay for it yourself, in my case it was money well spent. Also try to deal with it how you would like to. Get plenty of rest, if you would like to, or get some exercise if you think that would help. Above all take time to think, and think.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Not at all meaning to make light of this thread, but this strikes me as pertinent at this point. Funny and poignant and a devastating critique of those who think that depression is easily fixed.

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

..depression can also manifest itself in periods of frantic activity...Go Go Go...compulsive behaviour and tunnel blick...(Blinkered vision...one way forward only...black and white no grey etc)...then crash...it all stops as suddenly as it started....I can get extremely compulsive bouts...sometimes I am really focused on something ...intensely so to the exclusion of everything else...then, suddenly I stop and the mood changes from bordering on euphoria to total despair sometimes. There is up & down, but very little if any level ....guess thats why i'm a cyclist

 

[piedwagtail91]

Signed off work, taking the meds. Feel fricking terrible about myself and everything else. Need to do some work and try and get well. In a bad place.

sorry to hear that, i'm there myself at the moment, the way i feel i'm better not saying much but you're not alone. hope you can turn it around.
mick

 

[yoyo]

Wishing you a speedy recovery, 20''

Yoyo

 

[spandex]

sorry to hear that, i'm there myself at the moment, the way i feel i'm better not saying much but you're not alone. hope you can turn it around.
mick

Same as pie I'm not too good at the moment but have to keep on going. The worst thing is none of this is my doing (I think) I've just got try and and let time pass and move on.

BTW a BIG thanks to all of you on CC that have been helping me.

 

[trio25]

..depression can also manifest itself in periods of frantic activity...Go Go Go...compulsive behaviour and tunnel blick...(Blinkered vision...one way forward only...black and white no grey etc)...then crash...it all stops as suddenly as it started....I can get extremely compulsive bouts...sometimes I am really focused on something ...intensely so to the exclusion of everything else...then, suddenly I stop and the mood changes from bordering on euphoria to total despair sometimes. There is up & down, but very little if any level ....guess thats why i'm a cyclist

I think I'm the same, hence my borderline obsession with cycling and yet my inability to do simple tasks!

 

[Blonde]

I'm always sympathetic to read of anyone suffering from depression. I know that it's a very individual thing but you will share certain elements with others. It takes years to sort out and will probably never go away completely. To some extent you learn to live with it - but by that I do not mean give in to it, or beome despondant about it; I mean that you can learn to avoid the main triggers and learn to do something about warning signs before it really sets in.

Self-help books can be useful. Exercise outdoors is one of the best remedies, but over obsessive or compulsive behavious can result and in the end make things worse for anyone with self-esteem or body image issues, so it is best to have a few other things (such as musical instrument playing, langauge classes, social network etc) in your life as well, not just cycling. You need to make a huge effort to get started in this because whilst depressed it is so difficult to make connections with others and find things that interest and engage you, and you are not motivated to do it, but this is what will draw you out of depression. Less stressful and more stable living (not moving house and jobs every 6 months) helped me, but light therapy has made a huge difference too. It's taken me over ten years to figure it out, but using a SAD lamp from October to February has changed my life (along with some winter holidays in sunnier climes) and is much better than having to buy prescription drugs every year during the winter.

Good luck on your journey Twenty Inch. You will get there with the support of your family and friends and with growing self awareness and strength.

 

[Nerazzurri]

This is my first post in this thread; reason: I can find it very difficult to talk about my illness; why: because I don't have any visible signs of being unwell I think people don't take depression, and everything that comes with it, seriously.

I haven't worked, for the first time in my life, for two and a half years now. I'm a timeserved moulder, working in a private foundry and also with British Steel, so believe me - I'm no stranger to hard work. I'm still coming to terms with not working! Because sometimes I feel OK and think i SHOULD be working; but all too often I have bad periods which remind me I'm not ready. As it happens, I'm not very good at the moment; that's probably what's prompted me to write here.

I think I've had my bike about six weeks now, and it's really turned out to be a positive for me. I can have long periods of low energy (and many other symptoms) and didn't know if this would stop me using my bike regularly. But I've tried to get on it every day, even if just for a couple of miles, and I've managed not bad, just missing a few days.

The benefits are fantastic. Even if I don't feel like pushing myself a little, just the aerobic excercise of travelling at a slower space is rewarding. And apart from the excercise provided I find it's just plain fun to get out there. The few days I've not cycled I've just been too tired to do anything at all. The one mistake I've made was buying a MTB; with hindsight I should have got a hybrid - I've pretty much set-up the bike as a commuter with mudguards, rack, slicks, etc., etc.

I'm hoping cycling helps with beating depression. I don't have faith in drugs, so no chance of the placebo effect! I do take my meds but they have had only one effect - they stop my terribly emotional lows; unfortunately they've also neutralised lots of my positive emotions too. So they leave me in no-mans land bumbling along, day to day. And as a previous poster said, I really don't think you lose the illness, it's more a case of learning how to deal with it best so you can enjoy a decent life.

So on that note I can only say again that my, so far, brief cycling career has been very enjoyable.

Regards, G.

 

[bagpuss]

It is warming to see other on this forum live in the 21 centry and can talk about this ghastly illness in an open way.I have suffered 3 bouts in the last 15 years.The first been the worst.
1/ Get the right help ,first time round.Tell your GP what you want.I did not and hey ho a few years later .From what I learnt,most depression is cause by learnt behaviour.
CB therapy really work for me.During my 2 round.I had to ask for it mind.
2/ Reading list .The Gentle mind .Professor Paul Gilbert.
3/Keep or start keping a mood diary if suffering or you fell your self sliding.
challenge the negtive .
4/Be kind to your self.
5/Set your self small daily tasks if not at work/working.
6/Get your self a hobby and lose your self in it.I have a garage full!
7/Gentle exerise.
8/Remeber .YOU WILL GET BETTER.