This may have not been reported much on the news, but recently it was decreed that there may only be ONE man with the name 'David Mitchell' living in the UK. Whilst many David Mitchells have fled the islands on government funded flights to mainland europe and asia, many others have chosen to remain in the UK and have been battling each other to the death in highly secretive fights in abandoned water pumping facilities around the country.
Many such battles have resulted in even the victor being mortally wounded and so it has only taken about two and a half weeks to whittle our nations population of David Mitchells down to three.
It was decided by the powers that be that the last remaining David Mitchell shall be chosen by a public vote - the other two executed by flames. However wanting to keep the profile low it was decided that a small and relatively unknown internet forum should be chosen to perform that vote.
And so, Admin has closed registration of new members to prevent gaming of the site, this poll has been created and it has fallen upon US, the denizens of CycleChat to decide the fate of three men known as David Mitchell. Which David Mitchell shall be the only David Mitchell remaining alive is down to YOU.
OPTION ONE:
David Mitchell - Comedian and Actor
http://en.wikipedia....Mitchell_(actor)
David Mitchell is most well known for his roles in Peep Show and That Mitchell And Webb Look, along with panel show appearances on programmes such as QI and Would I Lie To You, hosted by iron-faced welsh midget Rob Brydon.
David Mitchell has thus far survived through countless fights by an intense strength of will. Despite taking beating after beating and usually being the lesser man in each fight he has endured, even over a fight with American cage fighter David Mitchell which most had ruled him out over. His remarkable consitution has resulted in him still standing after taking many a severe beating, and able to take his now exhausted opponent out through simple strangulation.
OPTION TWO:
David Mitchell - Author
http://en.wikipedia....itchell_(author)
David Mitchell is the renouned author of such titles as Ghostwritten and Cloud Atlas. Despite now living in Eire, UK citizen David Mitchell found himself embroiled in the Mitchell-off when performing a UK promotional tour of his new book, the Man Booker nominated The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet. Having lived in Japan for many years, David Mitchell is an expert in oriental combat techniques - his speciality being in the use of a form of Japanese short sword known as the 'Wakizashi' - sharpened to an unparalled intensity over countless folds of steel, the antique Wakizashi used by David Mitchell dates back to feudal times and bears the name 'Makoto'. Legend has it this fearsome blade creates wounds so vicious they never heal. Whilst unlikely this is truly the case, no opportunity has been given to prove this wrong.
OPTION THREE:
David Mitchell - Management Consultant
http://www.ioxfordsh...and-Associates/
David Mitchell is a Management Consultant from Wallingford in Oxfordshire, apparently. Not much is known about this particular David Mitchell, with him lacking the fame and renoun of his current rivals. David Mitchell is not even particularly well known amongst his peers within the Management Consultancy industry - however he has made a name for himself in the ring for his excessive and terrifying brutality. David Mitchell has been known to toy with and torture his rival David Mitchells in often greatly extended bouts of combat lasting many hours, much in the same way as a domestic cat might toy with it's prey, except with humans and with a great deal more screaming and blood. It would be best not to go into too much detail over some of the acts of depravity his has performed on his fellow man as our lawyers tell us even so much as MENTIONING such activities is in breach of the Geneva Convention.
CHOOSE WISELY!
(edit - re-read it and have improved my rushed grammar)
Many such battles have resulted in even the victor being mortally wounded and so it has only taken about two and a half weeks to whittle our nations population of David Mitchells down to three.
It was decided by the powers that be that the last remaining David Mitchell shall be chosen by a public vote - the other two executed by flames. However wanting to keep the profile low it was decided that a small and relatively unknown internet forum should be chosen to perform that vote.
And so, Admin has closed registration of new members to prevent gaming of the site, this poll has been created and it has fallen upon US, the denizens of CycleChat to decide the fate of three men known as David Mitchell. Which David Mitchell shall be the only David Mitchell remaining alive is down to YOU.
OPTION ONE:
David Mitchell - Comedian and Actor
http://en.wikipedia....Mitchell_(actor)
David Mitchell is most well known for his roles in Peep Show and That Mitchell And Webb Look, along with panel show appearances on programmes such as QI and Would I Lie To You, hosted by iron-faced welsh midget Rob Brydon.
David Mitchell has thus far survived through countless fights by an intense strength of will. Despite taking beating after beating and usually being the lesser man in each fight he has endured, even over a fight with American cage fighter David Mitchell which most had ruled him out over. His remarkable consitution has resulted in him still standing after taking many a severe beating, and able to take his now exhausted opponent out through simple strangulation.
OPTION TWO:
David Mitchell - Author
http://en.wikipedia....itchell_(author)
David Mitchell is the renouned author of such titles as Ghostwritten and Cloud Atlas. Despite now living in Eire, UK citizen David Mitchell found himself embroiled in the Mitchell-off when performing a UK promotional tour of his new book, the Man Booker nominated The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet. Having lived in Japan for many years, David Mitchell is an expert in oriental combat techniques - his speciality being in the use of a form of Japanese short sword known as the 'Wakizashi' - sharpened to an unparalled intensity over countless folds of steel, the antique Wakizashi used by David Mitchell dates back to feudal times and bears the name 'Makoto'. Legend has it this fearsome blade creates wounds so vicious they never heal. Whilst unlikely this is truly the case, no opportunity has been given to prove this wrong.
OPTION THREE:
David Mitchell - Management Consultant
http://www.ioxfordsh...and-Associates/
David Mitchell is a Management Consultant from Wallingford in Oxfordshire, apparently. Not much is known about this particular David Mitchell, with him lacking the fame and renoun of his current rivals. David Mitchell is not even particularly well known amongst his peers within the Management Consultancy industry - however he has made a name for himself in the ring for his excessive and terrifying brutality. David Mitchell has been known to toy with and torture his rival David Mitchells in often greatly extended bouts of combat lasting many hours, much in the same way as a domestic cat might toy with it's prey, except with humans and with a great deal more screaming and blood. It would be best not to go into too much detail over some of the acts of depravity his has performed on his fellow man as our lawyers tell us even so much as MENTIONING such activities is in breach of the Geneva Convention.
CHOOSE WISELY!
(edit - re-read it and have improved my rushed grammar)
