Conversational slip-ups!

[Tim Bennet.]

When running a construction project in Zimbabwe I was in the habit of praising the work done by the Shona guys by saying it looked 'shoot hot'.

One day the client and his wife arrived for a visit after we had completed a significant milestone and there was a BBQ so they could meet the guys. Unfortunately one of them was keen to demonstrate his ever increasing knowledge of English by expanding the customary 'Pleased to meet you' into 'May I say madam, I think today you look like hot shoot".

Luckily she had been around long enough to know this would never be deliberate rudeness, so smiled sweetly and said 'Thank you'. It was quite a delicate matter afterwards to explain the appropriate use of this (and many other bits of my 'working vocabulary') without causing him embarrassment or loss of face.

 

[gbb]

Stood in the workshop, next to one of the engineers, on the phone, trying to explain a problem to a female (so it turned out) on the other end of the phone.

Blah blah blah.....no.....no, its a bit testicle....blah blah blah....

He rang off.
Who was that Tony, i asked.
One of the girls at the service centre..he replied.

You do realise what you just said, dont you...i assume you meant technical ?

I didnt say that did i !!!!!!

 

[Twenty Inch]

I meant to say "Pass the salt please darling."

I actually said "Do you realise you've ruined my life, you rancourous evil-minded old bag?"

 

[Arch]

When running a construction project in Zimbabwe I was in the habit of praising the work done by the Shona guys by saying it looked 'shoot hot'.

One day the client and his wife arrived for a visit after we had completed a significant milestone and there was a BBQ so they could meet the guys. Unfortunately one of them was keen to demonstrate his ever increasing knowledge of English by expanding the customary 'Pleased to meet you' into 'May I say madam, I think today you look like hot shoot".

Luckily she had been around long enough to know this would never be deliberate rudeness, so smiled sweetly and said 'Thank you'. It was quite a delicate matter afterwards to explain the appropriate use of this (and many other bits of my 'working vocabulary') without causing him embarrassment or loss of face.

That's a lovely story. I hope you managed to explain without too much embarrassment for him!

 

[Chuffy]

Once upon a time, over on C+, I'd been taking the mickey out of Yenrod's idiosyncratic posting style and he'd got a bit aerated about it. I assumed that English wasn't actually his first language, felt a bit embarrased about taking the wee and posted an effusive apology. "I'm sure your grasp of English is better than my grasp of whatever your first language is...etc". Oops!

 

[Melvil]

Once upon a time, over on C+, I'd been taking the mickey out of Yenrod's idiosyncratic posting style and he'd got a bit aerated about it. I assumed that English wasn't actually his first language, felt a bit embarrased about taking the wee and posted an effusive apology. "I'm sure your grasp of English is better than my grasp of whatever your first language is...etc". Oops!

Once I got talking with a workmate and completely failed to register his strong northern-irish accent. I then blithely asked him 'what part of Scotland are you from, then?'.

Laughter ensued.

 

[Aperitif]

Mrs. P, shortly after arriving in the UK from France, would make attempts to use English idioms, which she could never quite remember.

I particularly liked: "it's raining dogs and cows". I still use it myself in fact.

Mrs Apero - from the same place etc etc...."It's raining steroids"

Funny, you never see stair rods nowadays- -except when it rains...

 

[Dayvo]

True story:
At a prisoner-of-war camp in Germany during the 2WW, the camp commandant suspected that the prisoners were planning an escape.
One morning he addressed them and said in faltering English, 'You think ve Germans know fukk nothing, but' he continued with ever-increasing confidence, 'in fact, ve know fukk all!'
The prisoners were besides themselves laughing on the parade ground.

 

[Arch]

Once upon a time, over on C+, I'd been taking the mickey out of Yenrod's idiosyncratic posting style and he'd got a bit aerated about it. I assumed that English wasn't actually his first language, felt a bit embarrased about taking the wee and posted an effusive apology. "I'm sure your grasp of English is better than my grasp of whatever your first language is...etc". Oops!

Once I got talking with a workmate and completely failed to register his strong northern-irish accent. I then blithely asked him 'what part of Scotland are you from, then?'.

Laughter ensued.[/QUOTE]

I know a Geordie chap who was interviewed on Dutch TV, and they gave him English subtitles. Presumably Dutch peoples' English is very good, but not THAT good!

Mind you, lovely chap, but I generally only catch about 1 word in 3....

 

[Dayvo]

I know a Geordie chap who was interviewed on Dutch TV, and they gave him English subtitles. Presumably Dutch peoples' English is very good, but not THAT good!

Mind you, lovely chap, but I generally only catch about 1 word in 3....

Which part of 'Why aye man' don't you understand?

 

[Elmer Fudd]

Had away 'n shite man !

 

[Arch]

I know a Geordie chap who was interviewed on Dutch TV, and they gave him English subtitles. Presumably Dutch peoples' English is very good, but not THAT good!

Mind you, lovely chap, but I generally only catch about 1 word in 3....

Which part of 'Why aye man' don't you understand? [/QUOTE]

Something about a man?

 

[Mr Phoebus]

True story:
At a prisoner-of-war camp in Germany during the 2WW, the camp commandant suspected that the prisoners were planning an escape.
One morning he addressed them and said in faltering English, 'You think ve Germans know fukk nothing, but' he continued with ever-increasing confidence, 'in fact, ve know fukk all!'
The prisoners were besides themselves laughing on the parade ground.

That's class

 

[Kirstie]

I used to go out with a French bloke, whose English was perfect, because he'd lived in the UK for a while. When he first came over, it wasn't as good. He always used to related the story of a time he was at a party. Shortly after arriving he took up fencing, a strenuous activity, and went to a party one night after a training session, a bit worn out. He was chatting to a girl, who wanted to sit on his knee, but he was a bit reluctant because he was a bit achy post exercise. He meant to refer to how his muscles were tired and his legs were aching but instead said 'no, you can't do that, because my meat is stiff'. The girl scarpered...

 

[Dayvo]

because my meat is stiff'. The girl scarpered...

Presumably so as not to be 'spit-roasted'