Cliched Story Thread

[got-to-get-fit]

As he looked at the men in black suits and sunglasses he realised it was all madness.....no wait Suggs was missing, as the band kicked of an instrumental of welcome to the house of love he turned and ......

 

[Melvil]

turned and turned and turned and turned and came out of it as............


Wonderwoman!

'Now I have the power to complete my mission' he said, as he headed towards Madness....

 

[Dayvo]

Madness! It was insanity. David Bowie was there with his son, Aladin Sane. Meanwhile Major Tom was having a walk on the wild side . . .

 

[johnr]

Suddenly the clouds parted, a light shone down on him and a loud, magesterial voice sounded in his head.

'Cliches!,' it said. 'Call those cliches. It's a surrealist fantasy and a disgrace to all that is mundane and repetitious. I've a good mind to...'

 

[got-to-get-fit]

stop believing in myself.
There was a plop sort of noise and god and religion were no more. Finally it began to rain.

Right thought our hero, im off to Tesco's for an all day breakfast. However before he managed another step forward a giant bearded frog sidled up to him and uttered those now memorable, immortal, earth shattering, mind boggling words................i have a small problem with....

 

[Elmer Fudd]

"My rear dérailleur, it's jammed up, how do I fix it?", "Ha" said spam, "I have a multi tool in in my trouser pocket", he reached for it and pulled out, a fetid sock, "Bollix" he muttered, that means the multi tool is...

 

[got-to-get-fit]

In Bush's ear. That can only make him stronger, and more powerful .....its time to.....

 

[Elmer Fudd]

Spin round and turn back into my altar ego, Wonderwoman ! Spam span, the fetid sock flew out his pocket and created a 15 car / 1 cyclist pile up but on he went regardless because he was ...an ignorant bas**rd,Once transformed she/he did a tribute cover song by elton john for mother theresa to dubbya, "sandals in the bin" then leapt over the off white house (as it needed repainting) and landed ....

 

[got-to-get-fit]

....The biggest trout the world had ever seen. He was quickly photographed for angler monthly and given a free lure for catching catfish.

Right he/she said i think its time for bed, all this saving the world business is pretty knackering. He made himself a geeks marmite sandwich and settled down to a tripple bill of blakes seven.
His gran popped round to tuck him in for the night and handed him a brown envelope.........in it were the rights to the papalcy in rome and the keys to a small terrace house in Dudley.
Its decision time said his gran..........

 

[rustychisel]

"D'ye chase those evil bastards to the APEC conference in Sydney where you'll have the chance to rid the world of George Wubblya and John Howard and Vladimir Putin and some old Chinese bloke, or do you stay nice and snug and warm here," she gummed, through a slackened mouth aged through the years by a combination of Bovril and snot.

"Well, do ye... Do you feel lucky, punk?"

 

[Pete]

"Nahhhh... think I'll give that one a miss, if it's all the same to you lady" was his off-the-cuff reply ... "just you fix me up with some real scum of the earth, how's about we go for, say, Saddam...?"

"Too late, chum, he's bought it - though I can fix you up with - "

 

[Paulus]

Bob Crowe, the cyclists friend. He is the elected leader of a group who go under the banner of the PMT. They used to be the NUR, latterly known as Noddies Underground Railwaymen, but then joined forces with a group whose most famous member was a rotund politician, who went by the name of Prezza. He was a member of the national Union Of Semen (sic). This man Crow is so powerful he can bring london to a virtual halt to all those not on bikes of foot. He would be a fine chaperone for the evening. Unless.........

 

[Elmer Fudd]

Paris Hilton is available, take your own camera but watch out for the..

 

[got-to-get-fit]

skinny side kick, nicole ritchie she smells of secreted slug farts and looks like a cup of sick.
That settles it said spam .....im setting up a new world order, a new government and a new religion

im calling it S.P.U.N.K. and it stands for.............

 

[Melvil]

...Society of Performing Ungulates (North Kidderminster branch).

Alright, it might not be very good for ruling the world but us Kidderminster ungulates get around a bit - our treasurer, Ted, once went on holiday to Calais! Our religion is performance, the more the better chance of going to the Stage in the Sky...

...But, thought Spam, I'm human and therefore not an ungulate at all?! Perhaps this is all a dream...