machew
Veteran
Volume
The base unit of volume shall be the EU standard (5cm radius) grapefruit, defined as 1gf, representing 523.6cc, 4.426 US gills, 0.0144 UK bushels, 0.5236 Chinese Imperial sheng, or 0.9625 Ancient Roman sextaria.
For volumes lesser or greater than 1gf, the following should be used:
Walnut = 0.16gf
Chicken's egg = 0.35gf
Bulgarian airbag (C-cup Posh Spice - allegedly) = 1.1gf
Bulgarian funbag (DD-cup Jordan) = 3.27gf
Football = 11.07gf
Olympic-sized swimming pool = 4,780,114gf
Known universe = 117,456,206x104925gf
Examples:
When they cut the poor bloke open, they found a tumour the size of a chicken's egg.
As he revved the Harley, he felt the raw energy of the four-Bulgarian-funbag powerplant throbbing between his legs.
Experts calculate that Bills Gates' wealth in $1m bills would fill two Olympic-sized swimming pools.
Length
The standard unit of length shall be the EU standard (Florentine) linguine (unboiled at sea level), defined as 1lg, representing 14cm, 0.02784 perches, 0.462 Japanese shyaku or 0.0007568 Ancient Greek stadium ptolemys
For greater than 1lg, the following should be used:
Double-decker bus = 65.85lg
Brontosaurus = 15 double-decker buses laid bumper-to-bumper
Length across known universe at shortest point = 136 trillion brontosauruses laid nose-to-tail
Examples
Paleontologists suggest that while vicious predator Ballmersaurus rex measured three double-decker buses from nose to tail, his brain was no bigger than a walnut.
Imagine Paris Hilton's dismay when she whipped open the prisoner warder's flies to find he was only packing a half-linguine.
Area
The standard unit of area shall be the nanoWales, defined as 1nWa, representing 0.0000207km2 or 20.78m2, 5.195 Thai talang wah or 28.99 Old Spanish square vara. The microWales, milliWales and Wales (Wa) are, naturally, accepted multiples of the base nanoWales.
Football pitch = 194.89nWa
Wales = 1,000,000,000nWa
Belgium = 1.47Wa
Democratic Republic of Congo = 113.3Wa
Known universe (rolled out flat) = 19468502x1012x10256Wa
The base unit of volume shall be the EU standard (5cm radius) grapefruit, defined as 1gf, representing 523.6cc, 4.426 US gills, 0.0144 UK bushels, 0.5236 Chinese Imperial sheng, or 0.9625 Ancient Roman sextaria.
For volumes lesser or greater than 1gf, the following should be used:
Walnut = 0.16gf
Chicken's egg = 0.35gf
Bulgarian airbag (C-cup Posh Spice - allegedly) = 1.1gf
Bulgarian funbag (DD-cup Jordan) = 3.27gf
Football = 11.07gf
Olympic-sized swimming pool = 4,780,114gf
Known universe = 117,456,206x104925gf
Examples:
When they cut the poor bloke open, they found a tumour the size of a chicken's egg.
As he revved the Harley, he felt the raw energy of the four-Bulgarian-funbag powerplant throbbing between his legs.
Experts calculate that Bills Gates' wealth in $1m bills would fill two Olympic-sized swimming pools.
Length
The standard unit of length shall be the EU standard (Florentine) linguine (unboiled at sea level), defined as 1lg, representing 14cm, 0.02784 perches, 0.462 Japanese shyaku or 0.0007568 Ancient Greek stadium ptolemys
For greater than 1lg, the following should be used:
Double-decker bus = 65.85lg
Brontosaurus = 15 double-decker buses laid bumper-to-bumper
Length across known universe at shortest point = 136 trillion brontosauruses laid nose-to-tail
Examples
Paleontologists suggest that while vicious predator Ballmersaurus rex measured three double-decker buses from nose to tail, his brain was no bigger than a walnut.
Imagine Paris Hilton's dismay when she whipped open the prisoner warder's flies to find he was only packing a half-linguine.
Area
The standard unit of area shall be the nanoWales, defined as 1nWa, representing 0.0000207km2 or 20.78m2, 5.195 Thai talang wah or 28.99 Old Spanish square vara. The microWales, milliWales and Wales (Wa) are, naturally, accepted multiples of the base nanoWales.
Football pitch = 194.89nWa
Wales = 1,000,000,000nWa
Belgium = 1.47Wa
Democratic Republic of Congo = 113.3Wa
Known universe (rolled out flat) = 19468502x1012x10256Wa
