Bad jokes

[col]

Al capone's cat had chewed his new shoes,so All shouted at it,which scared it off. After a while he got worried,so he puts an add out and offers a reward to anyone who finds it.After a while this man knocks on his door,and when Al opened it ,the man said

"Pardon me all,is that the cat that chewed ya newshoes"


I know,i didnt get it at first.

 

[graham56]

What`s 12" long with an arrow through it?
























Custers last stand!

 

[Kirstie]

My favourite Tommy Cooper joke:

A hydrogen atom walks into a bar and says to the barman 'I think I lost an electron'. 'Are you sure?' the barman says, so the hydrogen atom replies 'yes, I'm positive'.

 

[k-dog]

What's brown and sticky?







A stick.



What's pink and hard?









A pig with a flick-knife.

 

[andy_wrx]

Which oven-proof dish floats in the sea near Lands End









The Pyrex off Penzance

 

[TheDoctor]

What do you call a bloke with 50 rabbits up his bum?

Warren.

IGMC

 

[Ashtrayhead]

How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a lightbulb?







Let's go ride our bikes

 

[Ashtrayhead]

I went to the library today and asked if they had any books on shelves

 

[Dave5N]

1

Did you here about the magic tractor?

 

[Dave5N]

2

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

 

[Dave5N]

3

Shakespeare walks into his local after a hard day's scribing.

'Pint of your finest ale, landlord', quoth he.

'Sorry sir' came the honest innkeepers reply. 'I can't serve you.'

'Why not?' enquired England's greatest playwright.

 

[Dave5N]

1A

It drove down the road and turned into a field.

 

[Dave5N]

2A

A carrot

 

[col]

Where is the punchlines?

 

[longers]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?