Arghhh...Families...brown stuff hit the rotating object...

[Cycling Naturalist]

Well, I've had a wonderful Christmas - I went off skiing for a week with my youngest son. No stress, no silly overeating and no arguments - five lunches out of six taken in the sunshine and open air.

 

[Crackle]

Well, I've had a wonderful Christmas - I went off skiing for a week with my youngest son. No stress, no silly overeating and no arguments - five lunches out of six taken in the sunshine and open air.

That's the 2nd time you've posted that Patrick. Are you feeling quietly smug about your Xmas holiday then

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

That's the 2nd time you've posted that Patrick. Are you feeling quietly smug about your Xmas holiday then

Not quietly - the staff are all avoiding me in the office as they are fed up with hearing all about it.

 

[redshift]

20"... your MIL sounds depressed - as in depression the illness. Perhaps she needs to be dragged to a doc for checking over? I'm aware that's much easier said than done!

+1 for what Waffly said.

'didn't leave the house on her own for 10 weeks?' check

'energy-sapping passive-aggressive dullness?' check

I've had all these things and more. If she's depressed, she won't even be aware that that's not normal - subjectively, whatever your brain chemistry does is normal, even when it's not. Any chance of persuading her to see the quack?

 

[domtyler]

Well, I've had a wonderful Christmas - I went off skiing for a week with my youngest son. No stress, no silly overeating and no arguments - five lunches out of six taken in the sunshine and open air.

Foodie, why not take a leaf out of Patricks book and book you and your family and nice two week holiday somewhere sandy and tropical next Christmas and new year? Maldives should be pretty nice about now.

 

[Fab Foodie]

Foodie, why not take a leaf out of Patricks book and book you and your family and nice two week holiday somewhere sandy and tropical next Christmas and new year? Maldives should be pretty nice about now.

domtyler, you make sense....Just got to decide which bank to rob...

I'd be happy with a few days at Camber Sands right now.

 

[Arch]

Well, I must be pretty lucky. 6 of us in a 2 bed terraced house, (one of those only being a 5 month old baby though), got on famously, despite the youngest refusing to sleep properly, and one granny spraining her knee badly one night and necessitating a complete shift in sleeping arrangements so as to make her comfortable. Not a single whinge or moan that I can recall.

I'm firmly of the belief that you shouldn't do family stuff just because it's expected. I have very little in the way of close family, compared to many, and those I don't like, I've pretty much come to ignore. Not to say I'd want to be hurtful, and I wouldn't want anyone to be alone at Christmas if they didn't want to be, but I like to think we're all old enough to work ut the best plan. That's why I agreed to go home with my Mum for a few days after being at my sister's, although I'd just as soon have come back to York to be on my own, and if she's a little bit obsessively tidy for my liking, well, I just sigh and get on with it, and in return, she doesn't tut too much over the state of my flat...

 

[domtyler]

domtyler, you make sense....Just got to decide which bank to rob...

I'd be happy with a few days at Camber Sands right now.

Typical food technologist, pleading poverty while pocketing one of these mega-salaries we all hear about!!

 

[Fab Foodie]

Typical food technologist, pleading poverty while pocketing one of these mega-salaries we all hear about!!

Yeah, though as times get tight we may have to loose either the Butler or the Chauffeur...hard decisions

 

[Blue]

It's each to their own when it comes to families. I think they are nothing but accidents of birth/marriage and don't bother with them. Having said that, I obviously don't argue with them either!! Who knows what, if anything, they say about me - but I don't care, why should anyone worry about what others say, even family.

I speak only if they speak first and would be glad to try to assist if they asked for help, but I never, ever, seek them out. In other words, I treat them like every other person.

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Foodie, why not take a leaf out of Patricks book and book you and your family and nice two week holiday somewhere sandy and tropical next Christmas and new year? Maldives should be pretty nice about now.

The skiing will be rubbish in the Maldives though.

 

[Twenty Inch]

+1 for what Waffly said.

'didn't leave the house on her own for 10 weeks?' check

'energy-sapping passive-aggressive dullness?' check

I've had all these things and more. If she's depressed, she won't even be aware that that's not normal - subjectively, whatever your brain chemistry does is normal, even when it's not. Any chance of persuading her to see the quack?

We've thought of this and it would make sense, especially as she has had a rough couple of years. However, SWMBO assures me that MiL was like this long ago, so it's probably mild depression exacerbating existing personality traits. She grew up in the Soviet Union, of course, where passiveness and lack of initiative were rational choices for survival.

As she lives in Russia, there's not much we can do about getting her to a doctor. Depression isn't recognised much over there anyway, unfortunately. It's a tough one, as she seemed to be making progress earlier in the year, but I think that it will take its course when she goes home. Unfortunately, her friends in Russia are not the sort who would be positive and support positive choices - all very much "You'll never learn English, you're too old".

A chance to practise patience and tolerance....

 

[bonj2]

20"... your MIL sounds depressed - as in depression the illness. Perhaps she needs to be dragged to a doc for checking over? I'm aware that's much easier said than done!

Is that the same as saying you think she's effectively a mental?

 

[Dave5N]

My MiL is I think depressed, but part of the problem is that she is so passive-aggressive, controlling and assertive she can't be tackled.

I think her long term problems have given her a refuse or control mindset. Which has given us a 'stay in ****in' Scotland you nightmare woman' mindset.

 

[Elmer Fudd]

Hey ! PATRICK, howz the ski hol go ?