Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Beebo
Firm and Fruity
- Location
- Hexleybeef
What about Cream.
then you just need a band called Scone and they can argue about who goes on second.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Err, hello! Is that the EU? Err, about that trade deal I told you we didn't need.......
Last edited:
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
15 out of 10 for that one,brilliant.
A truck driver walks into a roadside cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.
The waitress asks for an order.
The trucker says, ‘I’ll have a burger, chips and a coffee’. He turns to the emu, ‘What about you?’
‘Sounds good to me, I’ll have the same,’ the emu replies.
The waitress returns with the order. ‘That’ll be £10.50 please’. The trucker reaches into his pocket, pulls out the exact change and pays her.
The next day, the trucker and the emu return. He repeats his order, ‘A burger, chips and a coffee, please’. The emu repeats, ‘Sounds good. Same for me, please’.
Once more, the trucker reaches into his pocket and produces the exact amount.
This is their routine for a couple of days. One night, the two enter again.
‘I guess you’ll have the usual?’ asks the waitress.
‘No, it’s Friday night. I’ll have a steak, baked potatoes and a salad,’ says the trucker. ‘Sounds great, same for me, too,’ says the emu.
The waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be £32.65′.
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘You’ve really got me there, mate. How do you manage to always have the exact change every time?’
‘Well, love’ says the trucker, ‘a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there’.
‘That’s brilliant!’ the waitress exclaims. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!’
‘That’s right,’ says the trucker ‘Whether it’s a carton of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money will always be there’.
Still curious the waitress asks, ‘But mate, what’s with the emu?’
The trucker pauses, heaves a sigh and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall bird with long legs and a well rounded bottom who agrees with everything I say’.
The waitress asks for an order.
The trucker says, ‘I’ll have a burger, chips and a coffee’. He turns to the emu, ‘What about you?’
‘Sounds good to me, I’ll have the same,’ the emu replies.
The waitress returns with the order. ‘That’ll be £10.50 please’. The trucker reaches into his pocket, pulls out the exact change and pays her.
The next day, the trucker and the emu return. He repeats his order, ‘A burger, chips and a coffee, please’. The emu repeats, ‘Sounds good. Same for me, please’.
Once more, the trucker reaches into his pocket and produces the exact amount.
This is their routine for a couple of days. One night, the two enter again.
‘I guess you’ll have the usual?’ asks the waitress.
‘No, it’s Friday night. I’ll have a steak, baked potatoes and a salad,’ says the trucker. ‘Sounds great, same for me, too,’ says the emu.
The waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be £32.65′.
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘You’ve really got me there, mate. How do you manage to always have the exact change every time?’
‘Well, love’ says the trucker, ‘a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there’.
‘That’s brilliant!’ the waitress exclaims. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!’
‘That’s right,’ says the trucker ‘Whether it’s a carton of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money will always be there’.
Still curious the waitress asks, ‘But mate, what’s with the emu?’
The trucker pauses, heaves a sigh and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall bird with long legs and a well rounded bottom who agrees with everything I say’.
RichardB
Slightly retro
- Location
- West Wales
... Whom we elected last year with a large majority ...
