Any good jokes ... ?

[rikki]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[tyred]

I would like to start dieting but have too much on my plate right now.

 

[Cavalol]

Nothing spoils my enjoyment of rap music more than some idiot talking over the top of it.

 

[Cavalol]

My doctor just phoned asking if I can provide a urine sample. I said I was busy, but I’ll give him a tinkle later.

 

[Cavalol]

I noticed a load of random items on my bank statement (size 80 shoes, a bicycle horn, a huge plastic flower). I contacted my bank and apparently my card has been clowned.

 

[EltonFrog]

I noticed a load of random items on my bank statement (size 80 shoes, a bicycle horn, a huge plastic flower). I contacted my bank, and apparently my card has been clowned.

I noticed a load of random items on my bank statement (size 80 shoes, a bicycle horn, a huge plastic flower). I contacted my bank and apparently my card has been clowned.

Well, if we’re repeating our own jokes, I’ll repeat one of mine.

Three people walk into a butchers shop.

The first says, ‘ well helloo dere, would youse be after ‘aving a couple of dem hi fi speakers for me mams hi fi record player?’


Before the butcher could answer.

The second person said ‘ oy vey already, I need the cables for my amplifier but not so much gelt, already my son, so soon’.

Then the third person butted in.

‘Good afternoon old chap, I wonder if could you furnish me with, at your earliest convenience, a turntable stylus, I would be most awfully grateful, there’s a good chap’


The butcher, finally getting a word in, said ‘ you’re in the wrong shop, we don’t serve stereotypes in here.’

 

[PaulSB]

 

[PaulSB]

 

[Dave7]

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Excellent.
I wonder if that would really work

 

[Dave7]

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MrsD was a sewing/knitting machine teacher for Singers in Warrington & Liverpool in the mid 60s.......she will enjoy that one.

 

[screenman]

Turns out humans eat more bananas than monkey's , it could well be true as I do not know anybody who eats monkey's.

 

[Sharky]

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We stopped eating alphabet spaghetti when we found BSE in it.

 

[Chris S]

Turns out humans eat more bananas than monkey's , it could well be true as I do not know anybody who eats monkey's.

Not anymore, that's how HIV/AIDS started. If people had learned their lesson 50 years ago then we won't have the covid 19 crisis today.