Any good jokes ... ?

[postman]

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That reminded me of one of my best Royal Mail mates.Sadly dead now.He was a good Catholic boy,seven kids.He had been a taxi driver,and undertakers assistant and been in the Army before joining and staying in Royal Mail,it was a good job once.But he did not want his kids to follow him so he got them to buckle down and get educated.His eldest lad wanted to be a vet.Well like me he did lots of overtime to provide for his family.We both worked lots of weekends,all rates were double time.So after one weekend duty,i asked would i see him next week.No he said the lad who wanted to be a Vet wanted to go the The Great Yorkshire Show,anyway with him and his wife plus seven kids it was a bit expensive.But they went,now the lad wanted to see the Prize bull,but as Mick approched the booth,the guy sadly told Mick it was an 'extra' and he would have to pay accordingly.Any chance of a cheaper family ticket Mick asked,the guy leaned out of his booth and said are these seven kids all yours,Mick replied yes me and the missus,the bloke said stay there,i will get them to bring the bull to see you.

 

[colly]

I wonder why they sited it there?

 

[Dayvo]

I wonder why they sited it there?

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Maybe because they've got the gaul to do it!

 

[PaulB]

I was out for a meal in a restaurant last night and when we were finished, the waiter asked me, "Do you wanna box for the leftovers?" I said, "No thanks, but my wife will wrestle you for it."

 

[Cavalol]

I laid a mousetrap in my garage last night. I went in this morning, and the bloody diver's missed the barrel.

 

[Cavalol]

Has anyone got a leaf or leaf like part of a palm, fern, or similar plant going spare?


Asking for a frond.

 

[rikki]

I wonder why they sited it there?

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Why did they Chooz to put it there?

 

[rikki]

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I had a visit from the police today. They said if I wanted to walk around my house in the nude, I had to do it inside.

 

[wheresthetorch]

 

[Kryton521]

View attachment 505546

Did this in Tescos yesterday queuing for the lottery tickets. Works a treat but I can't go back to that store for a fortnight!!!

 

[Cavalol]

I seem to have mislaid my small volcanic island. Have you seen it atoll?

 

[Cavalol]

I went into a chemists and asked, "Can I have a comb please?"

The chemist said, "Do you want a steel one?"

I said, "No, I've got money."

 

[Arjimlad]

 

[Arjimlad]