Any good jokes ... ?

[Dave7]

Its still funny though.

 

[screenman]

Drive to work yesterday and spent the time telling myself jokes, none were that good as I had heard them all before.

 

[Dave7]

Drive to work yesterday and spent the time telling myself jokes, none were that good as I had heard them all before.

If you dont behave I will tell you the one about the prison library joke book.

 

[Dayvo]

Apologies for not being a nerd and being able to remember every joke posted here, or not trawling back to see if I've repeated it!

FFS!

 

[Dave7]

Oh all right. Here is the odlest most worsterest one.

A guy is sent to prison and on his first day is sat in the library next to his cell mate.
After a while someoone shouts out "Number 47" and everyone falls about laughing.
A short time later someone shouts out "number 17" and again everyone is laughing.
Seeing the puzzled expression the cell mate explains "there is just one joke book and everybody has read it, so its easier just to shout the number in the book".
The guy decides to join in and shouts "number 16"..... no reaction.
He tries again "nunber 35"......again no reaction.
He asks his cell mate why no one is laughing and his cell mate replies....


"Its the way to tell them".

 

[Profpointy]

Oh all right. Here is the odlest most worsterest one.

A guy is sent to prison and on his first day is sat in the library next to his cell mate.
After a while someoone shouts out "Number 47" and everyone falls about laughing.
A short time later someone shouts out "number 17" and again everyone is laughing.
Seeing the puzzled expression the cell mate explains "there is just one joke book and everybody has read it, so its easier just to shout the number in the book".
The guy decides to join in and shouts "number 16"..... no reaction.
He tries again "nunber 35"......again no reaction.
He asks his cell mate why no one is laughing and his cell mate replies....


"Its the way to tell them".

I was about to nit pick that that one was a repeat, but then you gave a different punch line - so instead you get a like for a new twist

 

[Dave7]

I was about to nit pick that that one was a repeat, but then you gave a different punch line - so instead you get a like for a new twist

I have failed
No one was supposed to enjoy it

 

[Domus]

The gate between Heaven and Hell was hanging off it's hinges, God rang the Devil and said, you need to get it fixed, I paid last time.

F**k Off said Nick.

Come on now, said God, be reasonable.

No chance, down here we're not reasonable people

You give me no choice but to hand it over to our legal department.

Ha, you can't fool me, you haven't got any solicitors up there!


I told this at a dinner party at my sister's house, I didn't know there were two solicitors present. It did not go down well.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Cavalol]

I got the dogs some 'glow in the dark' treats this morning.

You should have seen their faeces light up.

 

[Seevio]

I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting then fell asleep.

 

[Seevio]

If your parachute doesn't open, don't worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.

 

[Cavalol]

Ever since I dropped my wife's glasses in to a bowl of cereal this morning she's been giving me Frostie looks.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting then fell asleep.

My Welsh friend tells me when he's trying to get to sleep, the very last thing he wants to think about is sheep.

 

[LeetleGreyCells]