Any good jokes ... ?

[Lullabelle]

I was shocked the other day when I thought I heard my wife say she wanted to go and see a Monkees tribute band in Switzerland.


Then I saw her face-now I'm in Geneva

 

[Lullabelle]

Go to your room young lady and think about what you've done.

 

[EltonFrog]

I was shocked the other day when I thought I heard my wife say she wanted to go and see a Monkees tribute band in Switzerland.


Then I saw her face-now I'm in Geneva

For Pete’s Sake!

 

[Freds Dad]

I've just bought some counterfeit Mr Kipling products.

I must say they are extremely good fakes.

 

[Ajay]

Exceedingly!

(Sorry )

 

[Drago]

The Indian government want to hold a sporting event to honour the anniversary of Gandhi's birth.

They decide that if everyone turned up it would be too big, so they restrict it to just the men. However, there would still he too many, so they restrict it to men with only 1 testicle. That still leaves 2 million men, so they further restrict it to me with no testicles. Perfect, 500 men.

So they name it the Gandhi A Knackerless 500.

 

[Salty seadog]

The Indian government want to hold a sporting event to honour the anniversary of Gandhi's birth.

They decide that if everyone turned up it would be too big, so they restrict it to just the men. However, there would still he too many, so they restrict it to men with only 1 testicle. That still leaves 2 million me, so they further restrict it to me with no testicles. Perfect, 500 men.

So the name it the Gandhi A Knackerless 500.

Reported, Thread ban on it's way.

 

[Cavalol]

My mate just said to me he'd seen the ex UKIP leader and the 'Simply The Best' singer leaving together this morning at Birmingham Airport". I said "Farage and Tina?", he replied "No.......

".....for Brazil I think"

 

[EltonFrog]

My mate just said to me he'd seen the ex UKIP leader and the 'Simply The Best' singer leaving together this morning at Birmingham Airport". I said "Farage and Tina?", he replied "No.......

".....for Brazil I think"

Good grief! Simply not the best joke.

 

[Cavalol]

I bought some new feed for my chickens, but they can't eat it.


It's impeccable.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Trick people into thinking you are a time traveller by buying your clothes in Wakefield.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

God and the Archangel Gabriel were creating Bees: God sternly said “Make sure to have them be an important part in pollination”. “Ok boss will do” replied Gabriel.

Then God said “Have them fly with little wings and a sting in their tail”. “Excellent idea my Lord” agreed Gabriel

Then God said excitedly “Oh oh and give them the greatest knees ever!”

 

[PeteXXX]

I was shocked the other day when I thought I heard my wife say she wanted to go and see a Monkees tribute band in Switzerland.


Then I saw her face-now I'm in Geneva

My favourite song from the monkees tribute band in Wales is 'I'm a beluga'

 

[morrisman]

I wrote the names of everyone I’ve unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint.
Now he’s high on my list of people I never want to see again.

 

[EltonFrog]

I wrote the names of everyone I’ve unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint.
Now he’s high on my list of people I never want to see again.

Now then, that is a funny gag. Consider it stolen.