Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[craigwend]

 

[Andy in Germany]

View attachment 761183

Took a few seconds that one...

 

[Profpointy]

A wealthy Arab Sheik visiting Yorkshire , & was suddenly taken to hospital after becoming seriously ill and needed an emergency blood transfusion

Unfortunately the sheik had a very rare type of blood and the LGI didn't have any in stock

After some frantic calls a yorkshire farmer from up in the dales is located who has the same blood type and he agrees to make his way to Leeds to donate some blood

The Sheik recieives the blood and begins to get better. He tells his assistant that he should send the farmer many lavish gifts as a show of his appreciation.

A few days later the Yorkshireman answers the door to be greeted with a brand new tractor, £250,000 in cash, a pouch full of diamonds and a life time supply of Yorkshire tea

A couple of days later, the Sheik begins to get ill again and the hospital have to phone the Yorkshireman, who was more than happy to donate some more blood

After receiving the blood the Sheik gets better and once again tells his assistant to send the Yorkshireman some gifts as a show of his appreciation but this time when the Yorkshireman opens his door all he receives is a Thank you card and a £10 voucher for Toby Carvery!

The Yorkshireman was shocked that the Sheik did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.

He phoned the Sheik and asked him;


"What's this all abart? I thought tha would be generous again, a thought that tha would gimme some more money and diamonds .... but tha’s ony giyen me a card and a chuffin 10 quid voucher ya tight get!"

The sheik replied;
”Aye lad, tha’s reyt, but av got Yorkshire blood in me veins nar!"

In a similar vein, and likely posted before, perhaps by me, concerning the Yorkshireman on his deathbed. His family are gather round and asks if his son is there. "Yes da, I'm here". And where is my daughter "I'm here too". "And my grandchildren" "yes grampa, we're all here" "Well who's left bloody lights on downstairs then?"

In the interests of racial equality there's also the story of the Cardiganshire farmer who had died. His widow wants to put the notice of his death in the Cambrian news, and as the notice is charged by the word, in keeping with her late husband's care with money, "Cardies" being renowned for being tight, she opts for the minimum of just four words: "Dai Evans is dead". After talking amongst themselves, the staff at the Cambrian News office being fond of old Dai, decide to have a whip round which raised enough to pay for three more words". "That's very kind of you" says Mrs Evans, and after thinking very carefully asks for the expanded entry to be "Dai Evans is dead. Tractor for sale"

 

[Cavalol]

My mate and I take it in terns telling bird jokes.

 

[craigwend]

 

[tyred]

 

[Alex321]

In a similar vein, and likely posted before, perhaps by me, concerning the Yorkshireman on his deathbed. His family are gather round and asks if his son is there. "Yes da, I'm here". And where is my daughter "I'm here too". "And my grandchildren" "yes grampa, we're all here" "Well who's left bloody lights on downstairs then?"

In the interests of racial equality there's also the story of the Cardiganshire farmer who had died. His widow wants to put the notice of his death in the Cambrian news, and as the notice is charged by the word, in keeping with her late husband's care with money, "Cardies" being renowned for being tight, she opts for the minimum of just four words: "Dai Evans is dead". After talking amongst themselves, the staff at the Cambrian News office being fond of old Dai, decide to have a whip round which raised enough to pay for three more words". "That's very kind of you" says Mrs Evans, and after thinking very carefully asks for the expanded entry to be "Dai Evans is dead. Tractor for sale"

My wife is a Cardi (brought up in Tregaron), and fully accepts the stereotype

 

[AndyRM]

 

[Cavalol]

My missus is leaving me because of my obsession with TV police dramas.

For the benefit of the tape, she just left the room.

 

[Profpointy]

My mate and I take it in terns telling bird jokes.

Better than swanning around parroting nonsence

 

[raleighnut]

Better than swanning around parroting nonsence

Aye I have too, no egrets

 

[Cavalol]

Alright, alright, no need to crow about it.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

I predict the puns are only going to get worse from heron out.

 

[PeteXXX]

I've seed all these puns before..