Any good jokes ... ?

[Toshiba Boy]

Sadly we’ve lost some of our local businesses recently. The bra shop has gone bust, the watch-menders has called time, the paper shop folded, the shoe repairers has been soled, the food blender factory gone into liquidation, and the TV aerial shop called in the receivers...

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Sadly we’ve lost some of our local businesses recently. The bra shop has gone bust, the watch-menders has called time, the paper shop folded, the shoe repairers has been soled, the food blender factory gone into liquidation, and the TV aerial shop called in the receivers...

Oh, and the last Banking branch in town has closed too, you wouldn't credit it would you?

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

 

[Speicher]

Oh, and the last Banking branch in town has closed too, you wouldn't credit it would you?

The Optician has also closed. They were short-sighted and did not focus on customer service.

 

[Speicher]

The Ironmongers has closed, they were hammered by recent increases in costs.

The Cobbler did not pay his rent, and was booted out by the landlord.

The stationery shop has closed but is moving to new premises.

 

[markemark]

The local brothel was ****ed

 

[Electric_Andy]

I heard the local sea-bird-themed pet shop was also sh*gged

 

[Tribansman]

The Optician's has also closed. They were short-sighted and did not focus on customer service.

The bakery shut too after losing all its dough and the two local pubs became unviable as the brewery had them over a barrel. The local dump closed after the council declared it a waste of money. Even the charity shops couldn't survive after their lease was given away to the cheese processing plant, who gratefully accepted. They're now the only business left after milking the town dry.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

I hear the butcher has had to make cuts too.

 

[MichaelW2]

Even the psychiatric hospital closed down. Madness..madness.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

...and to crown it all, there is only a plaque on the wall where the dentists used to be.

 

[PeteXXX]

But the bakery stayed open because they kneaded the dough!

 

[Profpointy]

Sadly we’ve lost some of our local businesses recently. The bra shop has gone bust, the watch-menders has called time, the paper shop folded, the shoe repairers has been soled, the food blender factory gone into liquidation, and the TV aerial shop called in the receivers...

and the bonsai tree shop had to move to smaller premises

 

[AndyRM]

 

[BigSid]

A husband texts his wife: "Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They’ve checked me, done some tests, and took an X-ray. The blow to my head is serious. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, and a dislocated knee."
His wife texts back: "Who is Paula?"