Any good jokes ... ?

[rustybolts]

 

[PeteXXX]

Don’t forget to put your clocks forward one hour, then back two tonight folks!! 👍🏼

 

[DRM]

Don’t forget to put your clocks forward one hour, then back two tonight folks!! 👍🏼

I’ll try not to….this year!

 

[Jameshow]

Turned up in last hymn of church before - well that was a good sermon!!

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Profpointy]

Indeed. Similar one I was told years ago...

A man walks into a bakery and asks for an elephant bollocks sandwich .

"I'm sorry mate, we've run out of bread."

The variant I heard involved a customer at a restaurant whose selling point was claiming to have every single animal in the world on the menu. He asks for an elephant ear sandwich. They waiter apologises and that they can't do it. "Ha ! I knew you'd not have elephant". "Oh no sir, we do have elephant ears, but we've run out of the giant bread rolls"

 

[Jameshow]

She didn't pick me...! 🤣🤣🤣

 

[Zanelad]

Reminds me, Watership Down…..You’ve read the book, seen the film, now eat the pie!

....now eat the cast, surely?

 

[DRM]

....now eat the cast, surely?

Rabbit pie

 

[tyred]

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

British portion size, compared to American..

 

[DRM]

On the bike racing theme

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

A lot, actually
Plus ‘we’ campaigned for road surfacing

 

[Dirk]

Whilst we get an extra hours sleep on Sunday, spare a thought for the National Trust Volunteers who work tirelessly through the night to move the stones back 1 hour at various stone circles around the country side. This is done twice a year to make sure the stones align correctly with the sun.

 

[Cavalol]

Money's a bit tight, so this year I won't be buying any apples for Halloween.
Should save me a bob or two.