Any good jokes ... ?

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Profpointy

Legendary Member
For a comedy show broadcast once only on BBC1 on 12 Nov 1971 at about 10:00pm it has quite a cultural resonance.

Nah, must have been earlier as 10pm was past my bedtime, however much I argued
 

tyred

Legendary Member
Location
Ireland
618087
 

gbb

Squire
Location
Peterborough
Dont think its been done before...
Fella get a job at the local zoo, its a great opportunity.
First day, the head zookeeper tells him to go to the aviary and feed the finches.....but dont sppok them, they're very sensitive.
Half way through, he drops the feed bowls with a clatter and a bang, the finches take fright, darting around the aviary, crashing into one another....and theres a heap of dead finches on the floor.
Aghast, he thinks....i will throw them into the lions enclosure, no-one will find them there.

Second day, head zookeeper tells him to muck out the chimanzee enclosure....but dont let them mix, make sure theyre in their seperate enclosures or they will be fighting.
He starts ok bu forgot to lock the enclosures, some escape, start fighting, two die.
Nooooo, i will get the sack, what can i do ?
So he chucks the dead ones in the lion enclosure...they'll never get found in there.

Third day, head zookeeper tells him to check on the apiary, make sure you dont get stung.
So he is half way through and accidentally tips over one of the hives, the bees swarm, pandemonium ensues and he tramples a lot of bees in the melee.
Well, its worked the first couple times, so he shovelled up the dead bees and cast them into the lion enclosure.


Couple days later....a new lion arrives at the zoo. He struts his stuff in the new to him enclosure, greets the other lions and asks....
So whats the food like here ?
One lion announces, its not bad, been a funny week though, so far this week we had....
Finch, chimps and mushy bees
 

bruce1530

Guru
Location
Ayrshire
Chap applies for a job at the zoo. Passes the interview, starts on Monday.
"What exactly is the job I'll be doing?"

"You're a Gorilla", they say "But you need to keep it secret. Our gorilla was the star attraction - all the visitors loved him - but he died last week. We can't get a replacement, so we need someone to dress up and pretend"
"What do I have to do?"
"Oh, not much. Put on a gorilla suit and sit around your cage all day, eat bananas, make faces at the public, swing about on the ropes, that sort of thing"

The chap starts on Monday, and is a great success. As the week goes on, he introduces more things to the act - climbing on tyres, picking fleas, scratching, beating his chest - and gets more adventurous on the rope swing. Eventually he swings so high that he flies over the fence, landing in the Lion's Den.

The Lions look at him, growl, and move towards him. Eventually, one pounces and pins him down.

"Help, help, save me, I'm not a real Gorilla"

"Shut up", says the Lion, "or we'll all get the sack..."
 

gbb

Squire
Location
Peterborough
Chap applies for a job at the zoo. Passes the interview, starts on Monday.
"What exactly is the job I'll be doing?"

"You're a Gorilla", they say "But you need to keep it secret. Our gorilla was the star attraction - all the visitors loved him - but he died last week. We can't get a replacement, so we need someone to dress up and pretend"
"What do I have to do?"
"Oh, not much. Put on a gorilla suit and sit around your cage all day, eat bananas, make faces at the public, swing about on the ropes, that sort of thing"

The chap starts on Monday, and is a great success. As the week goes on, he introduces more things to the act - climbing on tyres, picking fleas, scratching, beating his chest - and gets more adventurous on the rope swing. Eventually he swings so high that he flies over the fence, landing in the Lion's Den.

The Lions look at him, growl, and move towards him. Eventually, one pounces and pins him down.

"Help, help, save me, I'm not a real Gorilla"

"Shut up", says the Lion, "or we'll all get the sack..."
:laugh:Didn't see that coming :laugh:
 
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