Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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betty swollocks
large member
Liam Neeson, the famous assassin decided to retire. He went to live in a basic hut high up in the mountains and breed chickens.
Unfortunately for him the Russian mafia had long memories and decided to send in a hit squad to kill him.
So the Russians sent in their top soldiers to eliminate Liam and destroy his chicken farm.
They crept up to his chicken farm in the dead of night and launched their attack.
Fortunately he heard them coming and leapt out of bed to defend his chicken farm.
The Russian troops were no match for Liam and in the fight he killed most of them, but in the melee a lot of his chickens fell to their death down the mountain with the Russian troops.
One of the Russians got lucky with their sabre and cut off half of one of Liam’s feet, which also fell down the mountain with the chickens and Russian troops
The next day, the BBC were reporting at the bottom of the mountain, not knowing what had happened at the top of the mountain, all they could report was……..
“Here at the bottom of the mountain, all the evidence we have of an historic and brave battle is”…………….Hens & soldiers, Neeson’s toes.
Unfortunately for him the Russian mafia had long memories and decided to send in a hit squad to kill him.
So the Russians sent in their top soldiers to eliminate Liam and destroy his chicken farm.
They crept up to his chicken farm in the dead of night and launched their attack.
Fortunately he heard them coming and leapt out of bed to defend his chicken farm.
The Russian troops were no match for Liam and in the fight he killed most of them, but in the melee a lot of his chickens fell to their death down the mountain with the Russian troops.
One of the Russians got lucky with their sabre and cut off half of one of Liam’s feet, which also fell down the mountain with the chickens and Russian troops
The next day, the BBC were reporting at the bottom of the mountain, not knowing what had happened at the top of the mountain, all they could report was……..
“Here at the bottom of the mountain, all the evidence we have of an historic and brave battle is”…………….Hens & soldiers, Neeson’s toes.
Colin Grigson
Bass guitarist - Bad News
- Location
- Slovakia
Supersuperleeds
Legendary Member
- Location
- Leicester
Not a joke, but real life.
This reminds me of when I was riding home from work and filtering by traffic when I saw a car with no lights on. I tapped on the window to let the driver know and they just gave me loads of abuse. I shrugged my shoulders and rode off and left the idiot to it.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
I very much doubt they read every thread. They most likely rely on posters self-moderating out of respect for others, and others using the report button to let them know if a post seems to go against the guidelines.
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Seevio
Guru
- Location
- South Glos
Genie: Alright, 3 rules: No wishing anyone dead, no forced falling in love, no bringing anyone back from the dead.
Me: I wish envelopes moaned when you licked them.
Genie: ...
Genie: There are 4 rules
Me: I wish envelopes moaned when you licked them.
Genie: ...
Genie: There are 4 rules
