i've sussed out the underlying problem with my brothers and sisters and it is....
MY OLDER SISTER.
While the row has been happening it has become apparent that my brother and his girlfriend feel my younger sister (the one who got married) has a problem with him, and vice versa, and that they've grown apart. My brother also feels this about my older sister. My brother is now in trouble with my younger sister for letting it slip and she ain't speaking to him either
now i know my older sister can't keep her gob shut about anything you talk about so i went round there with the intention to (a) find out if i'd been slagged off over dinner yesterday (my younger sister went there for Christmas dinner) and (
if i had, to tell my older sister that i wasn't upset because they didn't tell anyone they were getting married, but because she didn't tell me when they had, hoping she would explain this to my younger sister and it might smooth things over.
So basically, when i told my sister this what did she do???
Well what she did was work her usual magic. knowing that feelings are already running high because we didn't know, she proceeds to tell me that she, in fact, knew for a while before it happened and had in fact been invited.
Why would she do this? I will tell you. COZ SHE IS A shoot STIRRING BITCH and loves to cause friction. She sits in her house and when someone goes round she tells them (over a nice cup of tea) everything the previous visitor said about them (which is actually usually instigated by her slagging off said person while the visitor just ums and arrs and agrees coz they can't be bothered to disagree with her and end up on the end of her next hangman's noose). This causes a vicious circle coz when the next person hears this, they then slag off previous visitor back to my sister, and then that gives my sister more ammunition to go back to previous visitor and tell them what that person said about them.
needless to say, i didn't rise to this revelation that she had been invited, but i'm telling you now, my brother is really hurt and if he finds this out i think the damage will be irrepairable. I bet my older sister is just itching to tell him.
Also i said to my older sister I couldn't understand why my younger sister didn't get on with my sis in law. My older sister said this was because when my sister in law found out my sister was going to Oz she said she thought she was selfish (to be fair to sis in law, my younger sister handled the whole Oz situation really badly too, announcing to my mum that she was going to Oz with the grandson my mum has practically brought up and is as close to as her own son, with a man my mum had never even met and i think was sis in law was trying to say was she wasn't handling the situation properly).
So i said, Well if she said that and my younger sister wasn't there at the time, how did my younger sister get to hear about it, coz i didn't tell her, and my brother wouldn't tell her and my mum wouldn't tell her either because its obvious that a throw away comment like that is gonna cause trouble.
The look on my sister's face said it all, as did the long silence before she tried to deny it.
no wonder there is loads of underlying bad feeling. According to my older sister she also told my younger sister it was a great idea to just go off and get married and not tell anyone. (i know this would give my older sister a great sense of power and achievement knowing she was the only one that knew and then she could drop it out at a later date and upset everyone).
Also, i think my older sister has shoot stirred about my sis in law because she holds a grudge against my bro and his mrs because when their baby was born she asked my sister not to smoke before she came to the house to see the baby (they are nurses and apparently there is some research that suggests that baby's lungs can be affected by smoke in the first six weeks, and this can include people who have had a cigarette in the last 1/2 hour as they continue breathing it out). Yes, obviously this is to us normal folk an overreaction on my sis in law's part, but as it was her FIRST baby and she was probably a bit over protective at first you can quite sort of understand it. Obviously my older sis is still holding a grudge because she told me about it today.
so she then said they hadn't slagged me off yesterday, and that they hadn't even talked about it, and i said "well, for someone who hasn't talked about it, you certainly know a lot about it" as I let myself out.
