I feel for you. My immediate LBS owner seems quite ill at ease around women (or perhaps just me) and it was always a struggle to leave the shop with anything approaching what I'd gone in for. I travel a bit further now to a shop that's run by a couple - the difference in service is remarkable and my cycling has come on in leaps and bounds too. If you can, try to track down a shop with better service. In the meantime, I find that arnica tablets are pretty helpful for easing discomfort and soreness.
Saddle wise, I have an old-style Specialized Sonoma on my mountain bike and shopping bike, my flat-bar road bike has a Selle Italia Diva Gel flow (which came with a 30 day money-back guarantee for reasonable use). I've also tried a Charge Ladle, which was fine but not as comfy as the Diva.