A weird, but true, sentence about yourself

[Chris S]

I, as a father of infant twins was once barred from a Mothercare store.

That's nothing. My penis is the same length as an Argos pencil. I am now banned from my local Argos.

 

[PK99]

I have only been thrown out of a pub once - for not drinking!

 

[Alex H]

I was a Green Goddess crew chief in the 1977 fireman's strike

 

[PK99]

I have been sworn at by Prince Philip...

There is nothing weird about that, he swears at everyone...

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I have seen Take That more than 50 times.

I don't like Take That.

When did you figure it out?

 

[Cubist]

I made a chicken casserole for the Undertones.

 

[postman]

I was a Finalist in the 1995 Postman of the year competition,held in York.I have a beautiful engraved Brandy glass to prove it.It was for my charity cycling work.

 

[MarquisMatsugae]

I told Gregor Fisher to "calm the fark down " in a small village shop in Dunlop,East Ayrshire.
The girl in the shop had got something wrong with an order of whatever it was.
He started raising his voice ,so that's when I told him .
farkin' Billy Big Time.

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

I have only been thrown out of a pub once - for not drinking!

Me too (within legal drinking times) but I got thrown out for stopping a fight.

 

[jayonabike]

I told Nigel Benn he was a shite dj and should stick to the boxing.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

When he turned up for a book signing at Meadowhall, I didn't shake Noddy Holders' hand, so he looked me in the eyes for a moment and moved to the next person.

 

[Cubist]

I used to sing in the same choir as Prof. John Curtice.

Edit. Apt as it may seem given the above, his nickname was Noddy.

 

[Biff600]

I've met the Queen 3 times, Prince Charles 6 times, Prince Andrew twice, Camilla once, Princess Margaret (on her last official trip), the Queen Mum once (and was also part of the funeral party), Margaret Thatcher twice and Tony Blair once (refused to shake his hand, but thats another story !) amongst others

 

[Milkfloat]

When did you figure it out?

Before the first gig.

 

[marknotgeorge]

I went to an 'alternative' night dressed as an evil Jack O'Lantern - a foam rubber pumpkin head and ex-prison issue dungarees.