The stars of diary and weather aligned, so out for a Spring Cobbled Classic. The aim being Trooper Lane in Halifax, which I'd never done and sounded like a lot of fun.
https://cyclinguphill.com/trooper-lane/
The plan, given my winter timber, was to get there with the least effort possible, main roads and gentle gradients. Unfortunately, the spring sunshine got the better of me so a detour up Werneth Low started the climbing. Werneth Low is a great little hill with the most stupendous views over Manchester and brutally steep on all approaches. There's a pub at the summit too. Highly recommended. They even changed a signpost to encourage my post ride diet:
Onwards through the D's: Diggle, Delph, Dobcross, Denshaw, then up to the summit of Rishworth Moor for a snack by a boundary post. Slightly spoiled by the vast quantities of litter discarded by twats in cars festooning the surrounding countryside.
Down to Sowerby Bridge and the start of the main event.
The next part may go on a bit... feel free to ignore.
The climb starts gently then goes back to tarmac for a stupidly steep hairpin, but subsequently calms down again. "What's all the fuss about?" thinks I. Eventually we reach the cobbled section: the road narrows to about two metres and kicks up like a donkey on crack. My legs remark casually, apropos of nothing, "there's really no shame in walking, you know". The best tactics for cobbles, I think, are to sit down, get your weight back and tough it out. This most excellent strategy lasts precisely one pedal turn. I stand up. My legs, no longer casual, shout "get off and push you fat, sad, middle aged Froome wannabee!!". I'm not taking this lying down. Indeed, I'm standing up. "Shut the fark up and farking push, you lardy farkers!" We slowly continue in a sullen silence broken only by loud gasping sounds like a steam engine with a lung condition. Frankly, we're going very, very slowly. Strava later reveals we're doing all of 4kmh. I'm sure it can't possibly continue at this gradient the whole way. I'm right. It steepens. Pain suffuses the horizon. A passing car gives a moments respite as I grab a telegraph pole and let it past. We go again. It looks as though the end may be near as we round a corner. Insanely, incredibly, without any compassion or feeling, the road steepens once more. "GET OFF AND PUSH" scream the legs. "Never" whimper I. Seconds, or maybe minutes, and seeming like hours pass, and finally the summit is topped. I am utterly spent.
Obviously, in such a state, the best thing to do next is climb Holme Moss. So that's what we do, via the climb of Ainley top, and lunch in Holmfirth. An Eccles cake is consumed amongst the paragliders after the suffererfest.
And that's it, all that remains is to report 147km, 2350m climbing, and a beer with a beautiful magnolia.