You know you're not in London when.....

[Markymark]

After two weeks staying in NotLondon:

1: You might as well try to pay with a dead trout than an Amex card
2: You order steak and the waitress asks if you want ketchup or mayonnaise
3: It takes 17 years for the 4 cars ahead of you to get onto the roundabout.

This thread is only for the well heeled and educated London classes. Shaun has written some code so no proletarians from the north are able to contribute ensuring this thread is kept accurate and civilised.

So please add to my list above.

 

[Beebo]

It is a 35 mile round trip to replenish the Prosecco when you run low on provisions.

 

[Levo-Lon]

Your bogies are a lovely green colour

 

[Supersuperleeds]

When strangers say hello.

 

[Markymark]

It is a 35 mile round trip to replenish the Prosecco when you run low on provisions.

And only if it's before 5pm else every fecking shop is shut.

 

[ianrauk]

At a cafe you dont get beans in a ramekin. Not that they would know what a ramekin is anyway.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

At a cafe you dont get beans in a ramekin. Not that they would know what a ramekin is anyway.

I was in Hunstanton the other week and my beans came in a little dish, emptied them straight out onto the plate.

 

[Smokin Joe]

You can leave your bike unattended for more than 30 seconds without getting it nicked.

 

[Markymark]

You can leave your bike unattended for more than 30 seconds without getting it nicked.

That is a good point, only people in London have bikes good enough to be worth nicking.

 

[jefmcg]

Instead of Starbucks they have places that serve coffee.


Obviously this involves crossing some water, but not the Atlantic

 

[Doseone]

When the sauce on your meat is gravy not jus

 

[User269]

You can ride for miles on almost empty roads amidst stunning scenery and nobody shouts at you, throws something, or tries to run you over.
And you don't see anyone wandering around in the road staring at their phone.

 

[Crackle]

Testing, testing......No I'm in. The usual delusional London advice then.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

You can put your foot onto a zebra crossing and you don't get mowed down by 15 cars.

 

[jefmcg]

And you don't see anyone wandering around in the road staring at their phone.

That's only because there's no signal.