Yesterday the world fell out of by backside!

[Easytigers]

i have the same thing, not good but on the mend. first day of sick I have taken in 5 years - I hate being ill!

I am eating dextro energy tablets just to give me some energy. may have to go and get some greek yoghurt to sort the gut out.

GWS! I hate being off as well...yesterday was a bit of a haze but today I'm just bored!

 

[Easytigers]

I'm suffering the opposite at the moment, I havent been for four days now. I've already had 5 sachets of Laxido today and not so much as a parp. Its no fun sitting on the lav with your fingernails embedded in your kneecaps and deliriously imagining all the personal luxuries you would gladly forfeit there and then for the pain to stop. I'm hoping that further compaction will at least lead to the freakish formation of bum diamonds and so provide some recompense for the agony I'm going to have to endure upon their eventual delivery. Hope this makes you feel better Easytigers.

Actually that has pepped me up! Feel really bad for you...hopefully over soon for you (and painless...wince!)

 

[Spinney]

Noooo! Keep away from milk and fruit juices! The advice I had from a GP when I had gastro-enteritis was to drink water or flat coca-cola, and if I had an appetite to eat nothing but mashed potato, plain white boiled rice, and hard-boiled eggs.

Well the NHS need to get their act together then. My info came from here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/dehydration/Pages/treatment.aspx

 

[fossyant]

OK that's enough talk of movements or not.

 

[Spinney]

That's to treat dehydration, not D&V

Yup, and it followed me warning him not to get dehydrated. I didn't say I was giving advice about how to stop it all leaving at the other end.

 

[Maverick Goose]

!

 

[raised by puffins]

Yep, avoiding dairy and fruit is Squits101. Whenever my guts are in such turmoil I subscribe to a regime of only water and toast until my vengeful backside stops performing like some poisonous Karcher Jet Washer. Usually a couple or three days sorts it out for me.

 

[cyberknight]

Long ago ... One of my colleagues was ranting about the fact that another colleague had phoned in sick after 3 days of coming in with an horrendous cough. Basically, according to his way of thinking, if your legs didn't buckle when you got out of bed, you should come to work. Over the next few days, half the office went down with the bug that the martyr had been coughing over us!

That my companies standard practise, your supposed to see their own medical staff who will dish out pills although i firmly believe in the
"if i can cycle in to work i am well enough " , if i am running to the loo every 10 minutes or as in the last case of absence i am having to take painkillers that make me drowsy and i am still crying with pain then i am not coming to work.

 

[smokeysmoo]

Cornflour, it'll thicken it up nicely

 

[welsh dragon]

Cornflour, it'll thicken it up nicely

And what do you do with that ? Do you eat it or slapp it on your backside ? lol

 

[Cuchilo]

Noooo! Keep away from milk and fruit juices! The advice I had from a GP when I had gastro-enteritis was to drink water or flat coca-cola, and if I had an appetite to eat nothing but mashed potato, plain white boiled rice, and hard-boiled eggs.

Oh its ok for a GP to give that advice on their fancy pants wages but some of us cant afford to eat as well as they do

 

[chugsy]

That my companies standard practise, your supposed to see their own medical staff who will dish out pills although i firmly believe in the
"if i can cycle in to work i am well enough " , if i am running to the loo every 10 minutes or as in the last case of absence i am having to take painkillers that make me drowsy and i am still crying with pain then i am not coming to work.

I remember that well... 1 sick day in four years and never appreciated - that was a mega flu that circulated around the group area because no one dared to stay off work :\ Japanese work culture I suppose. OHC was a pill pushing joke.

In my 2nd year some poor chap blew off his finger cutting corners with spot welder tip changes - first thing management says is "his fault - no compensation" at break time.

 

[slowmotion]

I'm suffering the opposite at the moment, I havent been for four days now. I've already had 5 sachets of Laxido today and not so much as a parp. Its no fun sitting on the lav with your fingernails embedded in your kneecaps and deliriously imagining all the personal luxuries you would gladly forfeit there and then for the pain to stop. I'm hoping that further compaction will at least lead to the freakish formation of bum diamonds and so provide some recompense for the agony I'm going to have to endure upon their eventual delivery. Hope this makes you feel better Easytigers.

For the love of God, don't seek prescribed laxatives. After a course of opiate analgesics last year, I was clogged up for about five days and asked Matron for help. Not a smart thing to do.
Have you ever sat on a WC pan in a six person ward, with a grille at the bottom (Ha!) of the door while the drug takes hold? They listened to endless, and increasingly desiccated sound effects for seven hours. I emerged from the privy with "a thousand yard stare".

 

[raised by puffins]

For the love of God, don't seek prescribed laxatives. After a course of opiate analgesics last year, I was clogged up for about five days and asked Matron for help. Not a smart thing to do.
Have you ever sat on a WC pan in a six person ward, with a grille at the bottom (Ha!) of the door while the drug takes hold? They listened to endless, and increasingly desiccated sound effects for seven hours. I emerged from the privy with "a thousand yard stare".

No but as a distraction I thought I'd sit with my ipad on my lap and read some cafe threads but as the contractions intensified and the tears started to sluice down my then trembling cheeks all I could focus on was the bleary reflection of my contorted face staring back at me from a screen entitled "Lights. CREE XML T6" which I had been skimming in an attempt to defuse the agony radiating from my poor tattered bum. Needless to say it was all to no avail. Updates when they become available.

 

[slowmotion]

I'm sure you can get to the bottom of this problem....