Worst Smell

[Cubist]

I was telling a friend of mine about this thread, and he of course had one to tell. He was posted on a carrier, and one summer's day in the Bay of Biscay the lookouts spot a body in the water. It turned out to be the body of a sailor lost overboard several months earlier from a yacht. Dave was one of the party sent in the ship's boat (a RHIB) to recover the body.

The body was pretty far gone, but wearing a drysuit. The head was more or less down to the bone, but he took hold of the boot of the drysuit as they pulled him onto the boat and remembers that the foot simply felt "mushy" inside. As they put the body down onto the floor of the boat the zip in the drysuit gave way and the entire liquified contents emptied out onto their feet, and of course straight under the deckboards in the RHIB. Nice.

 

[slowmotion]

I was telling a friend of mine about this thread, and he of course had one to tell. He was posted on a carrier, and one summer's day in the Bay of Biscay the lookouts spot a body in the water. It turned out to be the body of a sailor lost overboard several months earlier from a yacht. Dave was one of the party sent in the ship's boat (a RHIB) to recover the body.

The body was pretty far gone, but wearing a drysuit. The head was more or less down to the bone, but he took hold of the boot of the drysuit as they pulled him onto the boat and remembers that the foot simply felt "mushy" inside. As they put the body down onto the floor of the boat the zip in the drysuit gave way and the entire liquified contents emptied out onto their feet, and of course straight under the deckboards in the RHIB. Nice.

Anything lurking in the bilges in hot weather is mighty bad news. We lost half a dozen mackerel down there once.

 

[Cubist]

The most shocking one for me was a recluse who took an overdose in his council bungalow. There was an element of pathos as none of the neighbours reported him as missing or whatever, and the social worker who did report him was pretty vague about when he had last visited.

I broke in through a kitchen window which had hessian sacking tacked over it as a blind, as did every other window in the house. Every surface in the kitchen was covered in rotting food waste or dirty dishes/crockery etc. It was mid winter but the heating had stayed on. The time of year meant that there was very little insect activity, mercifully, and I expect the sealed windows prevented them getting in.

The body was lying in bed in the front bedroom, in a semi-foetal position, head resting on the left hand. There was a strange webbing material in the triangle formed by the arm and head, which I eventually realised was crystalline vomit. Again, this was a dry atmosphere and the smell wasn't too bad initially. The parts of the body visible above the bedclothes were decomposed, but fairly dry, so blackened, but not putrid as such.

I got an idea of the length of time he had been there as there were two cages either side of the (lit) gas fire which had a pair of budgies in one and a hamster in the other. Their bodies were mummified.

When the undertakers eventually came to move him they decided to take an arm and a leg each, which they soon realised would end exactly like that, ie that they would end up with just an arm and a leg each.......... They eventually simply bundled the whole lot up in the bedclothes and put it all wholesale in a bag. Only once they had moved him did we realise that he had indeed liquified under the bedclothes and seeped into the mattress.

I recovered over £25,000 in cash from his drawer, £2,150 of which was in coins. We never traced any relatives.

It took me five or six hours to complete at the scene, and by the end of it had got used to the smell. When I got home Mrs Cube made me get undressed in the garage......

 

[Cubist]

Anything lurking in the bilges in hot weather is mighty bad news. We lost half a dozen mackerel down there once.

I once went fishing with my leg in plaster. We had a great time catching loads of mackerel and as you would expect, the bottom of the boat soon had a healthy amount of water stained with all sorts of fishy juices sloshing around. At one stage we hit a wave and my plastered leg dropped into the water as it gathered in the corner of the boat I was standing in. The cotton wool padding in the foot of the plaster was immediately soaked in diluted fish blood and guts.

We were staying in a borrowed caravan in Salcombe, and had three days of the holiday left. I got some pretty funny looks in a number of shops and had to drink in beer gardens as I was attracting hostility inside the pubs themselves. Mrs Cube made me sleep with my foot hanging out of the caravan window.

When I got home I went straight to the plaster room and warned the nurse that it was going to be pretty offensive when she took the plaster off. She assured me that years of experience meant she was pretty used to the smell of peoples feet after amonth or so in plaster, but she visibly gagged when she took mine off!

 

[slowmotion]

" My life of slime" by Cubist. Please stop

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Couldn't you just go and catch some villains like a normal policeman, Cubist?

 

[guitarpete247]

A guy I used to work with had been in the been at sea and told me that when his ship was in the Amazon Delta his bunk mate had bought a stuffed crocodile of one of the local boats that used to come alongside selling souvenirs. He had told my mate that it was a present for his wife. After a couple of days it smelt rank and had swollen up. They discovered it wasn't stuffed. It had just been painted with clear varnish and was rotting from the inside. It did not make it back to Britain .

 

[subaqua]

one block of flats in islington (low rise) we had been working on the block for 8 weeks. never managed to get an answer from 1 flat so just before the council raises an access warrant you need to attend with a housing officer 3 times to witness 3 no access attempts. on the 1st visit with HO they suggested looking through the letterbox. they opened it and immediately vommed. then the smell hit me. the warrant was issued the same day and a forced entry was made. 3 dead dogs in variuos states of rotting down and a collection of urine and faeces in jars on shelves in the kitchen, plus around 3 ft of newspaper on the floor of all the property

 

[Maz]

The most shocking one for me was a recluse who took an overdose in his council bungalow. There was an element of pathos as none of the neighbours reported him as missing or whatever, and the social worker who did report him was pretty vague about when he had last visited.

I broke in through a kitchen window which had hessian sacking tacked over it as a blind, as did every other window in the house. Every surface in the kitchen was covered in rotting food waste or dirty dishes/crockery etc. It was mid winter but the heating had stayed on. The time of year meant that there was very little insect activity, mercifully, and I expect the sealed windows prevented them getting in.

The body was lying in bed in the front bedroom, in a semi-foetal position, head resting on the left hand. There was a strange webbing material in the triangle formed by the arm and head, which I eventually realised was crystalline vomit. Again, this was a dry atmosphere and the smell wasn't too bad initially. The parts of the body visible above the bedclothes were decomposed, but fairly dry, so blackened, but not putrid as such.

I got an idea of the length of time he had been there as there were two cages either side of the (lit) gas fire which had a pair of budgies in one and a hamster in the other. Their bodies were mummified.

When the undertakers eventually came to move him they decided to take an arm and a leg each, which they soon realised would end exactly like that, ie that they would end up with just an arm and a leg each.......... They eventually simply bundled the whole lot up in the bedclothes and put it all wholesale in a bag. Only once they had moved him did we realise that he had indeed liquified under the bedclothes and seeped into the mattress.

I recovered over £25,000 in cash from his drawer, £2,150 of which was in coins. We never traced any relatives.

It took me five or six hours to complete at the scene, and by the end of it had got used to the smell. When I got home Mrs Cube made me get undressed in the garage......

Admin, can we have a new button called 'Like, but Don't Like, If You Know What I Mean.'

 

[Cubist]

T

Couldn't you just go and catch some villains like a normal policeman, Cubist?

This all was as a normal cop. I have one more gruesome one and then I'll start on the funnies.......

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

one block of flats in islington (low rise) we had been working on the block for 8 weeks. never managed to get an answer from 1 flat so just before the council raises an access warrant you need to attend with a housing officer 3 times to witness 3 no access attempts. on the 1st visit with HO they suggested looking through the letterbox. they opened it and immediately vommed. then the smell hit me. the warrant was issued the same day and a forced entry was made. 3 dead dogs in variuos states of rotting down and a collection of urine and faeces in jars on shelves in the kitchen, plus around 3 ft of newspaper on the floor of all the property

WTF!

 

[subaqua]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2205905.stm
this flat wasn't just full of memorabilia there were tin cans for "recycling" that hadn't ben washed out stacked in one room. in the sumer the smell was terrible. i was working for islington at the same time

 

[Night Train]

When I was living in London with my dog, Barney, we had an 'incident'.

Barney had the runs and 'pebble dashed' the coir carpet on the stair landing.
I did my best to clean it up but it was too ingrained in the coarse knotted fibers and so I gave up.
The carpet was rolled up with all the poo and mess in it, tied with string, and put outside the front door for later disposal.


Someone nicked it!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

When I was living in London with my dog, Barney, we had an 'incident'.

Barney had the runs and 'pebble dashed' the coir carpet on the stair landing.
I did my best to clean it up but it was too ingrained in the coarse knotted fibers and so I gave up.

Vanish is good for that sort of thing.

The carpet was rolled up with all the poo and mess in it, tied with string, and put outside the front door for later disposal
Someone nicked it!

THAT'S what it was?! URGH!

 

[Night Train]

Vanish is good for that sort of thing.

Imagine this sort of carpet:

Now squirt a load of runny poo over it and rub well in.

I don't think Vanish would quite do the job!