Worst Smell

[User482]

Near the top of a long, steep climb near Bristol is a poultry farm. The combination of decomposing animal waste and the need to take great lungfuls of air poses a quandry: does one cycle past quickly (less time in the vicinity but you need to breathe hard), or slowly (vice versa)? Perhaps I should find a better route...

 

[Andrew_Culture]

3) the pungent aroma of the linden tree (I think) - which smells of a certain male fluid!

Hopefully that explains the smells under the bridge on the river path on my morning commute...

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Sent from.... somewhere between my lugoles.

 

[RaRa]

We should probably have a warning on this thread - Don't look here if you're eating!

Anyway, the worst smell I can remember was a few years back when for about a week there was an awful honk in our office and it gradually got worse and worse. I can only describe it as a combination of rotten eggs and fish. We tracked it down to a general desk area where about 6 of us sat and tore the entire place apart (even got the floor pulled up to see if something had crawled in and died).
After a few days things were so bad the boss decided to send us all home. My friend next to me started to gather her things, picked up her jacket, put her hands in her pockets, screamed, pulled her hand out covered in blobs of black goo and promptly threw up everywhere. It turned out that she'd worn the coat into work on the Monday and left it on the back of her chair but over the weekend one of her cats had chased a frog into the house which somehow ended up in the coat pocket where it died and started to rot. By the time she stuck her hand in it had started to putrify and the stench was just revolting. She reckoned it took days before the smell left her hand

I still can't quite work out how one little frog smelt quite so bad....

 

[Cubist]

room 128 at the hotel in Blanchardstown on the morning we left after the U14s rugby tour earlier this year. Imagine the fetid odour of the dozen teen lads who had massed in there to consume the several large pizzas they had ordered in, washed down with so many cans of Guiness and other beers that they had filched, and apparently celebrated the whole thing with a farting competition.

 

[Night Train]

My worst smell.

A long while ago we sectioned off a part of the drive for the dog to poo in in the mornings so that we could get off to work early before the dog walker arrived. The poo was cleared up each morning and put into a a small steel dust bin with a lid on it. The bin was supposed to be emptied daily, and was initially.

For some reason, after my work routine changed and I started taking the dog for proper walks in the morning, the bin was forgotten about.
Then when it was remembered neither of us wanted to go near it so it got left a bit longer.

Eventually many months afterwards I decided enough was enough and decided to take the whole bin to the tip and get rid of it.

That would have been fine except for the idiot moment when, after the bin was put in the boot of my car, I decided to see just how bad the contents were.












I then had to drive to the tip with all the windows open and the blowers on full trying not to

I went for a very long drive afterwards to try and clear the smell from the car.

 

[Cubist]

Other than that I once hadto go to a flat where the occupant had died 9 weeks earlier. His body was in a position with his head on his chest, thus trapping all the decomposition gases inside his body. He was extremely bloated and many different colours, but other than a fairly strong sickly sweet smell wasn't too offensive. ........until the undertakers moved him. His head rolled back and the gas escaped in a loud belching sound that I can still hear today. I fell down the stairs trying to make it outside before i puked.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

I was on tour and didn't get a food rider at a gig in the Welsh valleys, all that was left at the nearest 24hr garage was onion bargees. When one of the support band opened our motel door the next morning he retched. Smelt fine to me.


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Sent from.... my left cortex, or is it my right cortex? Or the living room?

 

[Peteaud]

Other than that I once hadto go to a flat where the occupant had died 9 weeks earlier. His body was in a position with his head on his chest, thus trapping all the decomposition gases inside his body. He was extremely bloated and many different colours, but other than a fairly strong sickly sweet smell wasn't too offensive. ........until the undertakers moved him. His head rolled back and the gas escaped in a loud belching sound that I can still hear today. I fell down the stairs trying to make it outside before i puked.

That is so gross its not even on a scale.

I would have shat myself if the corpse had burped as well

 

[dan_bo]

Other than that I once hadto go to a flat where the occupant had died 9 weeks earlier. His body was in a position with his head on his chest, thus trapping all the decomposition gases inside his body. He was extremely bloated and many different colours, but other than a fairly strong sickly sweet smell wasn't too offensive. ........until the undertakers moved him. His head rolled back and the gas escaped in a loud belching sound that I can still hear today. I fell down the stairs trying to make it outside before i puked.

Fjork that.

 

[LosingFocus]

Awesome thread. Got a good one to add. Cleaning out the garage last weekend for an N+1 and my wifes new bike, and there were some bags at the back I had shoved in last summer before we had some building work done on the house. The usual electrical leads, old things, odds and sod all in various plastic bags. There was, however, one black bag. Very odd, we don't keep stuff in black bags as I've been known to throw out needed items before () so what was in this? Well, I picked it up.... and it split, spilling its contents all over the floor. We dont put food waste in black bags, that gets recycled locally, but I should add that we have a 2 year old son, who as you can guess, was filling nappies with some regularity back then...

So, the bag split and dumped everywhere. First thing I noticed was the brown goo slopping all about, then the smell hit me. I guess it had been contained in the nappy sacks and black bag... but now it was free...

I have never moved so quickly in my life. It was terrible, like nothing I had ever smelt before. I still can smell it in my mind today. Tears.

 

[Cubist]

That is so gross its not even on a scale.

I would have shat myself if the corpse had burped as well

I reserved THAT moment for the time I held a hanging as my oppo cut the ligature. His head lolled back and he moaned right i to my ear. We both screamed, but the old Scenes of Crime officer who had been there to take the photos for the Coroner had seen kt all before and wore a very broad grin.

 

[RaRa]

I reserved THAT moment for the time I held a hanging as my oppo cut the ligature. His head lolled back and he moaned right i to my ear. We both screamed, but the old Scenes of Crime officer who had been there to take the photos for the Coroner had seen kt all before and wore a very broad grin.

I think I may have nightmares tonight!

 

[Cubist]

I think I may have nightmares tonight!

Would it help to know that his breath was still warm?

 

[mickle]

We have a caravan toilet in the corner of our shed which has been there, filled to the brim, for at least three and a half years. SWMBO doesn't want to throw the whole thing out since they are worth money apparently. It's from before my time so not my shoot to deal with.

... and so it sits there, waiting..... waiting.......

 

[RaRa]

Would it help to know that his breath was still warm?

This would have been the point where i'd have keeled over backwards and probably woken up requiring a wardrobe change.