I've been riding flats (with AND without various straps contraptions for over 30 years). Is describing my feelings at the prospect of riding the slow bike in the house any further than 5 miles really hyperbole? Oh and it's slow for a number of reasons, not just the fact it has flats
Yes it is hyperbole as the level of anguish was directed at the flats rather than a group of variables. The intimation being that the 'wonderdrug' was the only thing that could make a poor bike bearable.
Look you're clearly in the born again evangelical phase and my naturally cynical instincts are to add a large pinch of salt. For example you indicated that you did the same local 10 mile ride with the variables ironed out bar the use of flat v clipless pedals. For you this made a 1mph difference which was enough 'to annoy the hell out of you'. Yet reading more closely indicates that they weren't plain flats but flats with clips, so your feet were still attached. So that rings alarm bells, though I accept that it could simply be a case of not having all the info. I can see 1mph(or more) clipless v flats, depending on riding style and pedalling technique, but struggle to see 1mph clipless v toeclips.
I realise that I come across as some evangelical flatty myself but that's not the case, It rarely crosses my mind when I'm riding and I rarely notice what other people are wearing on their feet. However my personal experience has indicated that the pros and cons, as generally expressed via web and anecdata, are inaccurate with heavy bias. I've never noticed, or suffered from, the list of negatives associated with flat pedals and trotted out like some sort of absolute truth:-
feet will slip - mine don't
shins will be gashed - mine are scar free
feet will get sore - nope
long distances are impossible or highly uncomfortable - nonsense
you can't pedal properly - I feel fine
you can't climb hills - I can
I also call bullshit on some of the claims around clipless systems:-
it's night and day difference - not really or at least not for me
once tried you'll never go back - sorry not true
the feeling of being attached to the bike is fantastic - again not my experience I didn't like it
clipless moments are funny - I didn't think so and a cursory net search will turn up some rather serious injuries
pros use them so they must be the best - pros are a different species and shouldn't be used for comparative purposes by any other than those seeking to emulate what they do
pedal attachment has been around for 100+ years so it's not fad or fashion - no-one ever said it was, what was actually said was that it can be fad/fashion for riders that will never be able to extract the full level of benefit they offer
Now I freely acknowledge the climbing superiority out of the saddle and am happy to admit the hard riding/sprint capabilities. I also happily admit that I may use clipless if my riding needs alter. I just feel that pedal 'threads' tend to lack a level of honesty when weighing up the pros and cons and analysing someones needs. There is a strong undercurrent of mockery towards non clipless users with a dollop of inadequacy if they didn't like clipless or are loathe to try them.
Yes the threads on Cyclechat tend to be more balanced but would they be if people like me didn't chime in? Or would they be the free marketing fest for the sellers of pedal systems and shoes that you see elsewhere on the net?