.Unless some spokes are completely loose it is not spoke tension that is causing your wheel flex but a lack of sufficient spokes. Spokes are made of steel, a material that obeys Hooke's Law. Basically this means that for a given force, the spokes will strain (elongate) a fixed amount irrespective of the tension in the spoke. If you tension them more, they will still flex just as much. You are experiencing frame or wheel flex or a combination of the two. Further, unless you have spokes with zero tension in them, your wheels are just as still now as they day they were built. Steel does not become less stiff with use or age.