What's the WORST cycling related advice you have been given?

[John the Monkey]

*Anything* shouted from a car (which is invariably tosh of the worst order, based on half remembered bits of the Highway Code and the books of Richard Littlejohn)

 

[speccy1]

My best is "if your disk brakes are binding bend the disk rotor by hand until it stops!!"

This was a LBS owner too!!

 

[spandex]

"You need new tyres as you have worn out the tread" (my dad)

"Get a grown ups bike" (some one in the street) I was riding a Brompton at the time.

"how do you ride with no gears" (A friend of mine)

"Your slowing me down" (some one in a car) I was going down hill doing 36mph in a 30

"Get on the pavement the road is for cars when will you lot learn" (white van man)

....

 

[Bodhbh]

Going clipless will improve power output by 30%.

 

[CyclingSAM]

'Use Lights'

 

[iLB]

several times now i've been yelled at by small chavs who are on the pavement to 'get a real bike' as i rush by them on their bmx's or 'full sussers'

 

[Radius]

'Use Lights'

Oh dear

 

[Steve Austin]

If you ride fast, you will avoid rain, and roadspray

 

[spandex]

If you ride fast, you will avoid rain, and roadspray

Well that is some way true as if you could cycle over a cople of 1000s mph I think the chances of getting wet from rain or road spray will be very slim

 

[Randochap]

Questioner: Hi, I'm a 55 y/o overweight chap, just starting out. I plan to ride to work and back a distance of 5 miles in total. I need to carry my laptop and papers. If I like it, I might consider going for a bit of a ride on weekends. What bike should I get?

CC bicycle expert: Get one of these.

 

[Angelfishsolo]

OH my god. Did the respondent work for the f'ink company or what???

Questioner: Hi, I'm a 55 y/o overweight chap, just starting out. I plan to ride to work and back a distance of 5 miles in total. I need to carry my laptop and papers. If I like it, I might consider going for a bit of a ride on weekends. What bike should I get?

CC bicycle expert: Get one of these.

 

[iLB]

Questioner: Hi, I'm a 55 y/o overweight chap, just starting out. I plan to ride to work and back a distance of 5 miles in total. I need to carry my laptop and papers. If I like it, I might consider going for a bit of a ride on weekends. What bike should I get?

CC bicycle expert: Get one of these.

that seems perfectly reasonable

 

[Joe24]

"You shouldnt skid them bikes, they arent made for it"
As i was skidding my fixed to a stop, said by some chavs.

"how many gears has it got? One? Well you wont be going far on that will you!"
Said by my mum when i first got my fixed built up.

"Your on fixed, you wont be fast up hills!"
Said by someone on my first club ride out on fixed, i was still the fastest up hils by a long way

 

[Wigsie]

that seems perfectly reasonable

+1

leave the papers and lap top at work! if C2W went up to 3k there may be a few more of those knocking around.

 

[Joe24]

'Use Lights'

I dont get this one? Are lights on your bike a bag thing?