What's the best (non-sweary) insult you ever heard?

[Primal Scream]

If your backside was any bigger it would need indicators and a wide load sign.

If you want to have a battle of wits I would suggest you come back with some ammunition.

I would not take the p1ss out of you as God has already done it and I dont intend to compete

 

[T.M.H.N.E.T]

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/winston_churchill.html

 

[Kamakazerider]

Or how about
Speaking as an outsider what do you think of the human race?

 

[Kamakazerider]

My boss to a very awkward customer,
Have you always been this unreasonable or are you making a special effort today!

 

[Saluki]

If you want to have a battle of wits I would suggest you come back with some ammunition.

I have used this one fairly often.

I did say to a customer once "You are a purveyor of terminological inexactitudes" Its something an uncle of mine used to say to his son fairly regularly when he came home spinning stories.

 

[germanicdogman]

she's got a face like a smashed crab and hair like a burst mattress (work mate describing his mrs )

 

[Thomk]

Sort of an insult in a roundabout sort of way.

My (cycling) mates favourite line to poor car drivers (in his very posh accent) is:

"I do apologise, I was labouring under the misapprehension that this model of car came with a steering wheel as standard" before trundling off.