What's the best (non-sweary) insult you ever heard?

[TheDoctor]

George Bernard Shaw to Sarah Bernhardt
"But what if the child had my looks and your brains?"

 

[green1]

Here's 20p, go and call someone who gives a toss.

You'd need more than 20p these days from to make the call from a phonebox!

 

[buggi]

"face like a bulldog chewing a wasp" was my brother's favourite.

 

[Moon bunny]

Why did you trade in your throat for an extra chin?

 

[beastie]

Someone, I think it was Groucho, was told by an irate dinner guest,"If you were my husband, I'd poison your drink!"
To which he replied, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

That was another tete a tete between Churchill and Lady Astor.

 

[Moon bunny]

Jesus loves you, everyone else hates your guts.

 

[tomahawk]

How does your belly drag today?

 

[Bay Runner]

Is the Charm School you attended still open?

Have you ever considered a job in the diplomatic corps ?

 

[TVC]

I was going to do an impression of an idiot, but you beat me to it.

 

[GrasB]

"WOW! You're like Dilbert's boss...

Only less intelligent!"

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

* Jokingly directed at me once by a rather camp guy I used to know*

'If you had a braincell it'd be lonely!'


Yes yes, thanks for that!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

A Dukes of Hazzard hillbilly one - you're lower than a snakes belly in a wagon rut.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

He/She's about as useful as a fart in a lift!


Also a favourite I like to use on myself

'Oh, spot the braincell!'

 

[tincaman]

You look like your face was on fire and put out with a screwdriver. shovel

 

[Dayvo]

[QUOTE 2465308, member: 259"]I was cycling through the centre of Brussels today and got a close pass followed by a "w*****" from a Ford white van and a bloke with a broad cockney accent

The last time I was called a w***** on a bike was in Brixton in 1987[/quote]

Maybe you're just hard of hearing, Mort!