What's the best (non-sweary) insult you ever heard?

[AndyRM]

Coincidently, reported on Radio 4 this morning as 3 words and the response was 'Lady, you loose'.

That's a bit forward!!

 

[SamC]

"You're setting there with a face like fire damaged Lego."

I'll be using that one.

"Face like a melted tyre" is another goodun.

 

[yello]

That's a bit forward!!

As I said, stories way more interesting than facts

 

[Minotier]

On Radio5 Live the other day.
'You are the northern end of a southbound horse'

 

[ACS]

He'll never be the man his mother was

This man would be out of his depth in a puddle.

This man will go far and the sooner he starts his journey the better

This Officer is holding back the career of a moderately able police dog

This Officer sets himself low standards and consistently fails the achieve them

Officer Smifff does not suffer fools gladly - he should show more tact when the fools are at a higher rank

 

[ASC1951]

From Ally McBeal -
"Your trouble, Lin, is that you think everybody hates you - but really it's only the people who know you".

 

[s7ephanie]

I was told you were 2 faced, I dont believe it - because if you were, you'd wear the other one !

 

[s7ephanie]

Everybody has the right to be ugly - but you abuse the point

 

[swee'pea99]

This officer is holding back the career of a moderately able police dog.

"moderately able" makes that a bit special!

 

[Chromatic]

Coincidently, reported on Radio 4 this morning as 3 words and the response was 'Lady, you lose'.

But I don't care either way. For me, stories are way more interesting than facts.

Spooky!
I had Radio Gloucestershire on this morning, they didn't mention it.

Wiki says two words and gives a reference, but 2 or 3, it don't matter, it is still a good anecdote.

 

[Melonfish]

stopped in traffic and a passenger rolls down their window and shouts at me "HELMET!"
to which i replied, "Yes, you are"
the look i got was fantastic.

 

[roadrash]

He/she has a face like a bulldog licking p!ss off a nettle

 

[Darcy]

I once heard an angry 10 year old shout at an adult female "you've had more slams than our back gate"

 

[swee'pea99]

stopped in traffic and a passenger rolls down their window and shouts at me "HELMET!"
to which i replied, "Yes, you are"
the look i got was fantastic.

Not an insult exactly, but you remind me of when I caught up at the lights with a flash Maserati that had cut me up horribly and said to the driver: "Well, you've got the car - all you need now is a life." He was not a happy bunny.

 

[Night Train]

One of my favorites is the one directed at some of the race goers of York.
"Mutton dressed as Pig!"

A memorable attempt directed at me, when chastising some youths for urinating on the front of my neighbours house.
"...and stop talking posh at me!"