I usually sleep really well after cycling, but I've been having weird dreams for the past 7 weeks of non-cycling! In fact I had one last night which was so surreal, it was like a sketch from a TV comedy show ...
I was walking on a fire road through a forest in British Columbia, with towering mountains in the distance, a crystal clear lake below me, and dense trees either side.
I was so taken by the scenery that I wasn't watching where I was going and twisted my ankle when my foot slipped into a deep rut left by a logging truck.
I was lying on the ground clasping my mangled ankle when I heard a blood-curdling snarl from my left. I looked up and saw a huge slathering, snarling brown bear heading straight for me. I screamed in terror and said a quick atheist prayer that my death would be swift, and would take place before the bear-feeding!
The bear suddenly veered off and continued down the fire road as I heard the sound of an engine revving. Suddenly, a man about 7 feet tall came running out of the forest. He wore a bloodstained boiler suit, a mask on his face and was swinging a huge chainsaw from side to side. Oh super - it was the guy from Texas Chainsaw Massacre on steroids! Instead of being eaten to death, I was going to be sawn to death!
But Chainsaw guy, like the bear before him, veered off and continued down the fire road and I heard the sound of thundering paws. Suddenly, a pack of wolves came loping out of the forest towards me. They looked crazy with hunger. Okay, I was wolf lunch!
But no! Before the wolves came in for kill, they too veered away, and ran off down the fire road. Silence ...
Perhaps I would survive the day, after all? I wondered if my phone would get a signal. My ankle was killing me and I wouldn't be ...
Oh sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet - The entire high-speed Rage-zombie cast of
28 Days Later were now bearing down on me!
They ran straight past too! I was getting nervous ... What demonic denizen of the forest could so terrify a massive bear, a madman with a chainsaw, a pack of wolves, and a snarl of Rage-zombies?
The bushes to my left rustled, then parted and a smartly-dressed young couple emerged and walked over to me. They were both dressed in black and had perfect teeth. I reached up to take the hand of the man and he pulled me to my feet. My ankle was really hurting and I needed their help to support me so we walked along, my left arm over the man's shoulder, and my right over the woman's. I was just started to calm down when the young man began to speak ...
"Are you ready to welcome Jehovah, the almighty God, Creator of the universe, into your life?"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh ...
And then I woke up!
WTF was all that about?