A little postscript to this little tale...
After yet another pin effectively disappeared through the crank, I admitted to my daughter that I was out of ideas, and the only thing I could think of would be to ask at the bike shop over the hill that opened a couple of years back, see if they had any idea/other cotter pins/other.
Well, she just got back and...."He took one look at it and said it's the crank that's worn, which is why the pin won't hold it. But he said he had one round here somewhere, and he took the old one off and put the new one on, and fixed it proper tight. And he wouldn't take a penny." She's delighted, as you can imagine! The benefits of actually knowing stuff, eh?
I do like a story with a happy ending.