Unfortunate (genuine) names

[Chris S]

mm - none immediately - vaguely related - a client of mine gave company email addresses to its employees formed of their first name followed by first letter of their second.

Email addresses at my last company were generated the same way. The MD's was dunderwood. The name stuck.

 

[Chris S]

I know there have been people named Richard Head.

The Birmingham Coroner used to be called Richard Head.

 

[Chris S]

I know somebody who was given a Fixed Penalty Notice by a PC Mason.

 

[Chris S]

Coventry Polytechnic Netball Team (CPNT) was renamed Coventry University Netball Club when it became a university.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

There used to be a GP in Mallaig called Donald Duck.

(And no, he wasn't a quack.)

 

[Chris S]

I knew a Fraud Squad member called Detective Constable Swindle.

I've got relatives called Swindle. It's probably a corruption of Swindale in Cumbria. It's an unfortunate name for a PC though.

 

[Drago]

In Poshshire dibvlenthere was the Weekly Intelligence Meeting - Planning. The idea was scrambled egg ranks would get together, look at whats going on, andn plan resources accordingly for the week ahead (while forgetting that the past is usually a poor predictor of the future).

Anyyoo, after a while someone twigged that it was the W.I.M.P., but it was changed and years layer became the S.H.I.T. (I think Strategic Head of Intelligence Tasking, or somesuch). Some of the team and department names were either so daft, or so cringingly PC, that the Daily Mail even published and article about Poshhire Constabulary management having too much time on its hands, which was probably correct.

Which reminds me, there was a copper called John Bundy. He was thick as pigsheet and a backstabbing liability and no one liked or trusted him, so he was nicknamed Ted. It got so bad that when he ordered some new uniform the name badges and embroidered epaulettes even said Ted Bundy. When he got married he took his wifes surname in order to escape the pith taking, but everyone just took the pith out of him for that instead. I'm not for blatant bullying but he tried to foxtrot over so many people that I had zero sympathy for him, and being named for a serial killer was a fraction of what he really deserved.

 

[Pale Rider]

There's a detective serving with Durham Constabulary called Death.

Strictly, it's D'eath.

I've never met the guy to inquire about how his name is pronounced, but I think it's 'Dee-ath'.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I used to work with a guy called Bob Don.

He enjoyed signing office birthday/wedding/Christmas cards as "best wishes, from the finest R. Don in Kilmarnock".

 

[flake99please]

mm - none immediately - vaguely related - a client of mine gave company email addresses to its employees formed of their first name followed by first letter of their second

In a similar vein…. A company I worked for used the first three letters of the Christian name followed by full surname. Lou Stools raised a few eyebrows amongst the staff.

 

[Drago]

In the police I met an indian chap called Mr Boluk, prnounched exactly as youd expect. I also met a Mr Bastard - he answered the door and I said, "er, Mr B'stard" and he replied in a thick cockerney accent, "no son,mits Bastard and im proud of it." He was a lovely chap,

 

[Profpointy]

I knew a Fraud Squad member called Detective Constable Swindle.

He really should have been an accountant

 

[byegad]

I knew a girl with the Welsh?? name of Emina. Which everyone mispronounced Enema.

 

[Saluki]

There's a detective serving with Durham Constabulary called Death.

Strictly, it's D'eath.

I've never met the guy to inquire about how his name is pronounced, but I think it's 'Dee-ath'.

There was and undertaker in Bildeston, Suffolk called Death pronounced Dee-ath. It always made me smile when I passed.
My form teacher was Mrs Chilibotham, silent h apparently. We also had a Mr Christmas who taught geography and RE. He married a lass called Mary who kept her maiden name.
I have a lovely cousin, Ophelia, who married and has since divorced John Balls. She says that everything sounds rude with a first name like hers.
Some old friends with the surname of King called their son Joseph. He likes to use his middle name of Thomas now he is an adult. Says he is bored of the ‘you must be joking’ hilarious quips.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

He really should have been an accountant

He now runs an international cold case crime consultancy: About David Swindle | David Swindle Crime Solutions