True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea is such a huge fan of the Hill Street Blues he adopted 'Renko" as his middle name.

 

[classic33]

Always ahead of his time, Chris Rea developed Astroturf so they could play footie on Mars .

They have Martian Turf for that. Along with Lunar Turf for the moon.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Total Recall is based on the true life stories told down the Whippet and Clog by Chris Rea. Chris refuses to reveal where the real life controls are, for the Mars oxygen supply.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea once released a song containing the line "Once upon a time I was lighting my fags, now I'm only lighting my farts". He's still bitter that Bonnie Tyler has never acknowledged her debt to him.

 

[Drago]

The song Bat Out of Hell was written by Jim Steinman, and was inspired by a TURDIS pillion ride home from the pub he'd accepted from Chris Rea.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea provided the inspiration for a famous musical piece, after telling Mark Knopfler all about his various scrapes & adventures in the Turdis & Time Transit, Mark went away & wrote Going Home (Theme From Local Hero) however Chris was most upset when in his words "That shower of shoot up the A1 in black & white nicked it" he & Mark Knopfler haven't spoken since

 

[Drago]

It has been announced that Eighties TV disaster fillum, Threads, is to be remade.

To maximise realism the producers have asked Chris Rea to make several low passes in the TURDIS with the Auberge reactor set to Max and thus give Sheffield a suitable post nuclear apocalypse look.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea was in the original cast of Threads but was thrown off the set because his appearance would be upsetting for the audience.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea & Roy (Chubby) Brown starred in an exciting episode of Bullseye, they got through to the final & were both gutted to miss out on the Bully's star prize, especially when the caravan was revealed, only for Jim Bowen to say look at what you could have won, take it away, luckily it saved Chris & Chubby falling out, as they had both booked the same fortnight off, Chris wanted to take the caravan to Skegness, & Chubby wanted to take it to Blackpool, however they decided to pool their cash prizes and go on the razz in Benidorm instead

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was Russ Abbott's original Blunderwoman.

 

[Way-Out-West]

Chris Rea has become the first man to receive a womb transplant, but has ruled out having any more children. Period.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea was in the original cast of Threads but was thrown off the set because his appearance would be upsetting for the audience.

The famous woman-wetting-herself scene resulted ftom Chris Rea bring thrown off the production, because he vanished along with the suprisingly spacious portaloo

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Chris Rea played himself in the biopic "The Life and Times of Chris Rea". The film was never released as his performance just didn't convince anyone that it was anything like the true Chris Rea.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea worked for a while as a Stanley Kubrick impersonator. He made good money for a while, as no one knew what Stanley Kubrick looked like anyway.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is Keith Richards' grooming consultant.