Trivial things that make you annoyed beyond expectations?

[threebikesmcginty]

Tinted windows on big 4wd chariots. Why???? Are you playing with yourself when you drive...?..and on your mobile to a sexchat line..?

B*stards?

 

[Rezillo]

Apologies that are not apologies but condescending ways of implying that the subject of the pseudo-apology is at fault in misinterpreting whatever the issue was about. This means that we get "I'm sorry if you were offended by what I said" instead of accepting responsibility, as in "I'm sorry for offending you".

Perhaps not that trivial, though - it's a technique that now seems to routinely crop up in politics

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Pick what you like out of this lot (as posted by me on a rugby message board quite recently:

People who don't say "please" or "thank you"

Rugby snobs

BMW drivers

Condescending radio presenters - as exemplified by those two clowns on Five Live Drive a

People who say "slow up" "different to" and "fill out a form" when they should say "slow down" "different from" and "fill in a form"

Audi drivers

People who say "less" when they mean "fewer"

George Osborne

The usual and regular misuse of "there" "their" and "they're"

The usual and regular misuse of "your" and "you're"

White cars (Except the Fiat 500 and Honda CRZ which happen to look good in that colour, all the others are plain naff)

ITV (except ITV4 when it shows rugby, cycling or The Sweeney)

Reality television

Twickenham Stadium

Security staff at regional airports

The inevitable mentioning by the BBC of the battle of Bannockburn prior to every Calcutta Cup match at Murrayfield

Simply Red

People who use the phrase "I'm not being funny...." No, you're not. You are, however, usually being incredibly rude.

Chancers who sit in first class compartments on trains knowing full well they don't have a ticket entitling them to do so

People on twitter who use the hashtag #(insert club name here) family: It's not a family, it's a sports club, you morons.

Retail staff who never look you in the eye and who never smile.

Nothampton Saints stewards

Teenagers. Hated them even when I was one myself.

Rugby club tours. I can save several hundred quid staying at home and drinking 'til I'm sick, thanks.

The tiny windows on Pendolino trains

The Harlequins stadium announcer

Snooty shoppers in Waitrose who look down their noses at you

Pizza Hut

The M25 in rush hour

7-a-side rugby

Radio stations who get me interested by saying they'll play something by Motorhead, only for it to be Ace of Spades. Again.

All request Friday on Radio 2 as it is really "Same requests as last week, Friday"

Kate bloody Thornton

The smell of cigarettes, particularly on peoples' clothes

Hangovers

People who pronounce "secretary" secker-terry

People who press the "close door" button in lifts before checking that anyone is following them in. I get this all the time at work from....

The hordes of contract IT programmers in the office who walk very slowly in packs and get in everybody's way

Bling

People who use the word bling

Pre-packed sandwiches that omit their ingredients from their packaging. Many a time I have bitten into one containing tomato/cucumber/mustard, all of which I despise, after they were not mentioned on the label.

Celery

Stupid, square-toed, tan loafers; especially when worn with chalk stripe business suits

Hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of snooker on tv

Belts that don't match shoes

Meaningless words that try to make things sound better than they really are such as "gourmet" "designer" "luxury" e.g. I'll sit in the designer kitchen of my luxury studio apartment eating a gourmet strawberry yogurt

My car not having Bluetooth

Roadside shrines to people who have died nearby. There is a place for all those flowers and other peripheral stuff: it's called a cemetery. Controversial, maybe, but it really grates.

All the aforementioned peripheral stuff: soft toys, football shirts, Ikea lanterns. Ugh.

My thoracotomy scars

My sciatica

Grey change kits for rugby teams

Radio 1

Drivers who don't know how to use box junctions

Boxing - the "noble art" has become a joke

Golf and Tennis in the Olympics. We see them every week of the year and those who compete really don't give a crap. Showcase some other sports and give them the exposure they deserve.

Drivers who pay extra for convertibles and leave the hood up on warm, sunny days

The pasty tax

Mushrooms

People who won't fork out a tenner a month for ESPN but will, without hesitation, spend money on the three pints a month they need to sacrifice to cover the cost

People who can't spell the names of their own sports clubs' players

The words "sachet" and "garnish"

Queuing to get into a pub

Hen parties

Thick people

Chavs

People who shove pushchairs into the road to stop traffic

The cheap ballpoint pens in the work stationery cupboard that don't write on the standard-issue notepads

Restaurants who put the top half of your burger bun or sandwich on the plate, taking up most of the room that should be occupied by the chips and onion rings

Anyone who thinks it's compulsory to drink real ale at a rugby match

The concept of a Harlequins change shirt

Manchester

Taffs who are militantly Welsh, but can't speak a word of the language

Shops and bars who refuse to accept £50 notes

Ray Winstone

Ryanair

Orvis stopping selling Rhinohide trousers

Blokes in leather trousers

3 for 2 offers when there are only two left on the shelf

People who take one can from a four pack whose contents cannot be sold separately. What do they do with them?

Running out of milk

Forgetting to take my medicines

Instant coffee

Anyone who has a track suit "for best"

Renewing marriage vows

Americans wearing evening wear to weddings when they should be in morning dress

Unfathomable instruction manuals

Sports commentators who rattle off stats for 90 minutes when they should be describing the match. ITV Football is the worst for this

Ladies who look surprised at cash desks when they are asked for payment and who then take ages to get their card/cash out of their purse. It's not as if it has come as a surprise, girls!

Those folks on aircraft who get up as soon as the fasten seat-belt sign is switched off in order to alight, when the cabin doors are not open for another 10 minutes and they just stand there, looking the eejits they really are.

People in supermarkets who let their kids eat food before they pay for it

The width restriction where I park my car that has damaged both sills and three wheels

Blunt razor blades

Axl Rose

Fishing. Why?

Wimbledon fortnight

Rock-hard pears

That horrible feeling you get when you first put wet hands under the hot air hand dryer

Depression

When, no matter how many times you shake your lad after you've taken a P, you still get damp pants

Blisters

Biting into a green sweet thinking it's lime flavour, only for it to be apple

Wondering why some fools pay money to watch snooker

Missing the last train home

Having an itch in a place you can't quite reach

Sneezing fits

Bar staff who need a calculator to add up the price of two pints

People who demand respect without earning it or even knowing the meaning of the word

Scrum halves who take a quick tap, knowing that it has been awarded to the other side, to prevent the opposition gaining any advantage. Give them all yellow cards.

Those who choose to spend their money on drugs and tattoos instead of dentistry and hygiene. Or their own kids.

Following through

Message board posters who call rugby grounds "soulless" without being able to explain what "soul" actually means

Being the last person in a long queue which nobody else joins until you've had your turn

Finding out the Beastie Boys are white, middle-class, four feet tall and skinny

Shows and films that went on for too many series or sequels; think Bread, Only Fools and Horses, Terminator, Police Academy. Actually, Police Academy never should have seen the light of day.

People who refuse to believe Elvis is dead

Socks worn with sandals

Motorway middle lane hoggers

Wasabi

Bacon that is two-thirds water

Gardening

Speed cameras

The Severn Bridge toll not accepting cards

How unbelievably rubbish is Metallica's "Death Magnetic"

They way Mrs L points at me when watching Family Guy, every time Peter does something stupid; as if to say "that's you, that is"

On You've Been Framed, those people whose dentures have fallen out putting them back in without cleaning or rinsing them

Aubergines

Camping

My bad right knee

When my binoculars go out of focus during my rugby commentaries

Sports coaches who claim they didn't see something their own player did, but who can describe in minute detail what an opposition player did

Athletes and journalists who think "medal" is a verb

The Bullingdon Club

Those who think the word "mushy" rhymes with "pushy"

Parents (plural) who struggle, or refuse to control their offspring in supermarkets when the obvious solution is for one of them to do the shopping, and the other to stay at home with the kids

Not being able to stop biting my fingernails

Weak tea

Flip flops

People without blue badges parking in designated parking bays for the disabled

Pasta salad. The biggest culinary con since....

Polenta

People who put an "e" between the "k" and "y" in Scotch Whisky.

Having to hang around the office until after 5 on a Friday waiting for one, last document to come in from a supplier

Having to remove my glasses to read the screen on my mobile phone

Turning grey

Lance Armstrong's deceit

Oxymoronic language like "fresh frozen" "virtually spotless"

You know, sports people, y'know, usually, y'know, footballers who, y'know, say "y'know" every y'know, third word y'know when being y'know interviewed

Service stations that have half a dozen pumps with the expensive "super" fuel which costs 7p a litre more than the standard, for which there are just two pumps

People who pay for Special Brew, Skol Super, Tennents Super and such like with folding money. Bloody show-offs.

Five Live's The Monday Night Club broadcast on a Wednesday

The Monday Night Club

Knowing my licence fee goes towards paying for the Monday Night club. I want a refund.

Smokers who light up instantly once they are out of a no-smoking zone. You don't see me opening a tinny every time I get out of the car or off the train.

Silly ring tones.

Old gits who didn't want declimalisation because it was "too complicated" when compared with old money

Those who quote maximum temperatures in Fahrenheit and minimum temperatures in Celsius, just for effect.

People who call "Celsius" "Centigrade"

The Range Rover Evoque - it's a 4WD petticoat

The people around Leighton Buzzard who take the trouble to put their dog's mess in a plastic bag, and then tie them to fences. Disgusting.

Voxpops with Welsh people on radio and TV. Their voices make me cringe.

Anything written by or starring Ricky Gervais.

People who think soap operas are real life

Paper plates at buffets that are so flimsy you need to use two just to support one mini sausage roll

Curry that has no heat to it

The BT ad campaign featuring those three students - aka the twats in the flat

Going to sea in anything smaller than the Isle of Wight

Ambulance chasers

Rip-off prices at motorway services

"Mickey Mouse" degree courses

Graduates of "Mickey Mouse" degree courses wondering why it's so hard for them to find a job

The over-use of the word "legend" in sport. It seems the qualification criterion for "legend" status is coming on once as a sub in a mid-week reserves fixture.

Weather forecasts that always start with telling everyone how the weather has been. As if we didn't know. Or care. Just tell us what it's going to do

Being over or under dressed at a function

"Smart casual" Just say "tie-less" instead

Hiatus hernias

Local sports hacks who just peddle the same line as the clubs on which they report, bordering on the sycophantic

Panic buying of any kind

The trendy fixed-wheel cycle brigade

The Sex Pistols' "God Save the Queen" not reaching number one due to a chart compilers' fix for Rod Stewart

British Middle-class sitcom clones - Bless this House; Terry and June; My Family; 2 point 4 Children (aaarrggh!)

News updates on the hour on network telly that talk about "celebrity" news and nothing else

The new Routemaster bus. Ugly, expensive, pointless.

A minute's Applause for dead people. It should be silence. The reason football brought it in was because some of idiot minority there can't keep quiet.

The use of mobile phones whilst driving

Clothes manufacturers who can't grasp the concept that fatties like me are not all 5ft tall and need trousers in lengths longer that a 29" leg

Vajazzle - who apart from your partner and closest friends (after half a dozen Lambrinis) will see it?

Lambrini

People who use joined-up writing fonts for their names on email signatures

Monopoly - has there ever been a game of Monopoly that has ended in a way other than by someone throwing the board and its contents across the room, or in a fight?

Breakfast News when Susanna Reid isn't on

People who think Welford Road (Leicester Tigers stadium) is the centre of the universe. It is not. Huddersfield is the centre of the universe.

Citroen ceasing production of the C6

Citroen not putting the DS9 into production as its replacement

People who think - very wrongly - that having clinical depression somehow removes your ability for rational thought

Real ale snobs who sneer if I want to drink lager

Carol Vorderman

TV commercials not having jingles any more. I can think of only Calgon that still has one

Payday loan companies who prey on the most vulnerable

Ambulance chasers who are the most vulnerable's only route to getting the money to pay off the aforementioned payday loan companies

Those who try to claim through the ambulance chasers and who put up my car insurance premiums as a result

Celtic Frost splitting up. I know it was in 2008, but I'm still miffed about it

Brian Coleman (Google him if you live outside London)

People who voted for Brian Coleman

Peter Allen on Five Live. Contrary, condescending old git.

Word 2007 and upwards - can't find any features I could locate easily on Word 2003 and before

Mitt Romney

Paul Ryan

Fox News

Soundalike sports commentators. Take out Alan Green, John Murray, Eddie Butler and Andrew Cotter and they all meld into one.

Endless debate about the England soccer captaincy. It's not that important.

Living 150 miles away form the Trans-Pennine pub crawl route

Having my Gore Tex jacket stolen

Punctures on my bike

Not being able to find a pub in Leighton Buzzard I could call my local. They're either full of kids and noise, or racist, Sun-reading white trash.

Stand-up comedy. I must be getting too old for it. I find even Al Murray - of whom I was a big fan - irritating nowadays.

People on Facebook who use the Causes app for xenophobia and religious intolerance; and who can neither spell nor punctuate!

The contestants on Only Connect. I love the show but the spods who compete are the last people in the world with whom I'd go for a pint

TV Quiz shows that take several minutes' air time over a single question.

The Rugby League World Cup - why not just let GB, Oz and NZ play one another twice and be done with it.

Not knowing any of the bands in Kerrang! magazine any more

Bering hired for one job and having another forced upon you

Having to use a BlackBerry for work. It's like going back to tin cans and string compared to my iPhone

Retail staff who call me "mate" instead of "sir"

and finally, the single most abhorrent misuse of English

people who say and use "should of" when it is "should have" or "should've"

How about people who blanket bomb a thread with an inordinately long & supremely picky list to portray themself as the modern day Basil Fawlty, making it frustrating and unhelpful for the many people who routinely use their mobile devices for browsing forums.


Oh and +1 to those saying the planks that quote them in entirety to add a short reply ;-)

 

[Spinney]

People who sign off emails with 'Best'

Not best wishes, just best...

What's wrong, did typing the email exhaust you so much that you cannot type another six letters? Eh?

 

[gbb]

A classic example on TV tonight..
Stuart Wassisname presenting Anglia News, typical of so many interviewers, who asks the victim the question they cannot possibly answer...WHY
Ater a fourth failure of overhead lines on our rail network, he's interviewing a spokeswoman for Network Rail and asking what are they doing about it, do they realise how the rail using public feel etc etc.

Then he asks THE most cretinous question, something they often do, the question they know cannot be answered,,
'So will you give an absolute assurance this will not happen again'

YOU FCUKWIT , cheapshot journalism, cretinous question that a 6 year old would know the answer to...
The answer from the spokeswoman was quite expected..
'What i can say is...blah blah blah'

What else was there for her to say, she's not God, she could never give that assurance.
Cheapshot, fcukwittery, pointless in the extreme...frikkin journalists

 

[ColinJ]

The very worst journalistic fcukwittery has to be this kind of thing, which I'm sure you must have seen on the TV news;

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, your 7 year old twin daughters were kidnapped, raped and murdered ... how do you feel?"

 

[Large]

BBC Breakfast 7.35 sports bulletin this morning leading with a story about one football manager not shaking hands with another football manager. Not news.

 

[Lee_M]

People that use the word "revert" when they mean "come back to me" in emails

 

[pplpilot]

BBC Breakfast 7.35 sports bulletin this morning leading with a story about one football manager not shaking hands with another football manager. Not news.

Not just the shaking hand bit that isn't news, anything to do with wendyball isn't news.

 

[byegad]

People who mention their female better half* as 'the wife'.

It annoys me beyond reason. I think it's because I worked with a very annoying guy who repeatedly used the phrase. He was an utter clown and as awkward as he could be. He once announced to the people in the staff room that today was his wife's wedding anniversary. I jumped straight in and asked when his was, which puzzled him completely, much to everyone's amusement.

I'll not mention Peter Reavely's name so I don't embarrass him. Oops!

* As undoubtedly they were.

 

[ColinJ]

Perhaps she had remarried after their divorce...?

 

[ianrauk]

People who mention their female better half* as 'the wife'.

It annoys me beyond reason. I think it's because I worked with a very annoying guy who repeatedly used the phrase. He was an utter clown and as awkward as he could be. He once announced to the people in the staff room that today was his wife's wedding anniversary. I jumped straight in and asked when his was, which puzzled him completely, much to everyone's amusement.

I'll not mention Peter Reavely's name so I don't embarrass him. Oops!

* As undoubtedly they were.

It also how I feel about people who use 'SWMBO'..

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Holy thread resurrection Batman!

 

[Andy in Germany]

Push button 'pedestrian crossings'; why do we have to press the button and wait for the lights to change? WHy isn't it green for peds and bikes by default?

Anso, why do we have a drop kerb to road level instead of the road going up? Less puddles and slower traffic is surely a good thing?

 

[Paulus]

Holy thread resurrection Batman!

Not bad, only 6 years, good going by some resurrections.