Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Lullabelle]

I've HAD to tell people this many times in previous roles, more politely of course.

Shopfloor bods leave at 4.30 so I did think about waiting until he had gone and put some deodorant at his work station.

 

[ColinJ]

Dear Morrisons,

Thank you very much for putting bicycle stands in such a convenient location on the left hand side of the entrance to the store.

Any chance of pointing out to lazy motorist shoppers*** that the trolley bay is in the equivalent position on the right hand side? I know it is about 15 metres further for them to walk to park the trolleys, but when they park them on the left instead, cyclists can't actually get to the stands without moving the trolleys! (I checked today and the trolley bay was only 50% occupied, while the bike stand area was 100% full of the damn things.)


*** PS In fairness, it could be lazy staff that are parking them there, although one elderly shopper actually parked a trolley directly behind me while I was unlocking my bike. I had to move THAT trolley in order to get out!

 

[Vantage]

You probably could actually say this to the store manager via way of crayons and paper. or pen and paper if you're posh. ^^^
Might even do some good. You never know

 

[Andy in Germany]

No I do not wish to see another set of pictures of your kids dancing, any more than you would want to see 60 pictures of my bike in various bits of the German countryside.

 

[perplexed]

No I do not wish to see another set of pictures of your kids dancing, any more than you would want to see 60 pictures of my bike in various bits of the German countryside.

I once fell for the seemingly innocent question - 'Would you like to see a photo of my dog?'

72 crap, almost identical photos of her ruddy dog later, I was about ready to hurl myself under a bus (It was back in 36 roll film days).

 

[swee'pea99]

Dear Morrisons,

Thank you very much for putting bicycle stands in such a convenient location on the left hand side of the entrance to the store.

Any chance of pointing out to lazy motorist shoppers*** that the trolley bay is in the equivalent position on the right hand side? I know it is about 15 metres further for them to walk to park the trolleys, but when they park them on the left instead, cyclists can't actually get to the stands without moving the trolleys! (I checked today and the trolley bay was only 50% occupied, while the bike stand area was 100% full of the damn things.)


*** PS In fairness, it could be lazy staff that are parking them there, although one elderly shopper actually parked a trolley directly behind me while I was unlocking my bike. I had to move THAT trolley in order to get out!

Sounds like Morrisons' cockup to me. Any such new facility has to take on board people's likely behaviour. If it's created in such a way that it relies on no-one being lazy, stupid or selfish, then it ain't gonna work.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

Dear Morrisons,

Thank you very much for putting bicycle stands in such a convenient location on the left hand side of the entrance to the store.

Any chance of pointing out to lazy motorist shoppers*** that the trolley bay is in the equivalent position on the right hand side? I know it is about 15 metres further for them to walk to park the trolleys, but when they park them on the left instead, cyclists can't actually get to the stands without moving the trolleys! (I checked today and the trolley bay was only 50% occupied, while the bike stand area was 100% full of the damn things.)


*** PS In fairness, it could be lazy staff that are parking them there, although one elderly shopper actually parked a trolley directly behind me while I was unlocking my bike. I had to move THAT trolley in order to get out!

On the Morrisons theme:

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms etc Extra High-up Person @ Morrisons Stores

Please note that the Pound does have sub-divisions called Pence - I was perusing your Kendal store's shelves last night searching for a variety of distress purchase items (chocolate, processed peas and kitchen towel) and noticed that many of the items in your store are now priced in whole pounds.

Are Pence now being made redundant at Morrisons?

Yours

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells*

(* I used to live there and I like this moniker a lot.)

 

[ColinJ]

Dear whoever-plans-operation-of-the-UK-rail-network... (somebody does actually plan it, right? )

Could you please explain to a poor ignorant passenger sorry, customer, how this makes any kind of sense...?

I get on a London-bound West Midlands train in Coventry, take it to Northampton, and get off there. Price: £12. I get on the same train to Northampton, but don't get off there. I stay on for another couple of stations and get off at Milton Keynes instead. Price £11.50.

Is Milton Keynes council so desperate to poach shoppers from Northampton that they subsidise tickets to MK? If so, somebody should point out that a Northampton passenger could simply buy a Milton Keynes ticket and disembark 2 stops early!

 

[oldwheels]

My wife got a telling off from the train guard for getting a cheap ticket to Dumbarton and getting off at Helensburgh Upper which is about 8 miles before Dumbarton but the ticket costs more.

 

[Drago]

Dear whoever-plans-operation-of-the-UK-rail-network... (somebody does actually plan it, right? )

Could you please explain to a poor ignorant passenger sorry, customer, how this makes any kind of sense...?

I get on a London-bound West Midlands train in Coventry, take it to Northampton, and get off there. Price: £12. I get on the same train to Northampton, but don't get off there. I stay on for another couple of stations and get off at Milton Keynes instead. Price £11.50.

Is Milton Keynes council so desperate to poach shoppers from Northampton that they subsidise tickets to MK? If so, somebody should point out that a Northampton passenger could simply buy a Milton Keynes ticket and disembark 2 stops early!

I go down to Wolverton rather than risk the sheet hole that is Northampton station and its environs.

 

[Edwardoka]

My wife got a telling off from the train guard for getting a cheap ticket to Dumbarton and getting off at Helensburgh Upper which is about 8 miles before Dumbarton but the ticket costs more.

I once got on the train at Garelochhead at the wrong end of the train, not wanting to run in cleats so I stowed the bike in one of the doorwells.
When the conductor got to me she demanded I move it to the other end of the train or she'd throw me off.

I wasn't going to walk through a packed west highland tourist train with a bike so I got off at the next stop, Dalmuir, and cycled home, saving me the train fare for the 30 miles I'd covered on the train (she was too busy being angry about the bike to get me to buy a ticket)

 

[alicat]

Dear Morrisons,

Thank you very much for putting bicycle stands in such a convenient location on the left hand side of the entrance to the store.

Any chance of pointing out to lazy motorist shoppers*** that the trolley bay is in the equivalent position on the right hand side? I know it is about 15 metres further for them to walk to park the trolleys, but when they park them on the left instead, cyclists can't actually get to the stands without moving the trolleys! (I checked today and the trolley bay was only 50% occupied, while the bike stand area was 100% full of the damn things.)


*** PS In fairness, it could be lazy staff that are parking them there, although one elderly shopper actually parked a trolley directly behind me while I was unlocking my bike. I had to move THAT trolley in order to get out!

Dear Morrisons,

Thank you very much for putting bicycle stands in such a convenient location on the left hand side of the entrance to the store.

Any chance of pointing out to lazy motorist shoppers that they shouldn't park on the single yellow lines in front of the bicycle stands. It blocks access and makes collisions more likely. Oh and please don't tell me not to raise the issue with the motorists that I observe when you are not prepared to do anything about it yourselves. Grrh!

 

[Saluki]

You are a receptionist. You are not my boss. Do not sneer because my last job (same role) had different admin processes, also do not blame me for the state of the archiving as I was continuing told that archives are at head office, not on site. It is now a problem that 12 months into a project we suddenly have to build an archive from scratch. I wouldn’t mind a hand and if you could get me some help I might even be able to do my actual job too.

while on the subject of your sneering. Don’t judge me by your own standards!

 

[Edwardoka]

"I am a citizen of the European Union"

 

[Andy in Germany]

"I am a citizen of the European Union"

I don't generally do smilies, but: