Things you would rather not hear

[Drago]

Diane Abbott.

 

[presta]

Dear Mr Presta,

Your GP has arranged an urgent 2 week cancer referral with Dr Al-Abed.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Is that not what hotel rooms are for ?

I didn't know booking hotel rooms so you can listen to others having loud sex in the next room was a thing. Everyday is a school day.

 

[oldwheels]

“ This is a passenger announcement. The 1400 hrs sailing to Craignure has been cancelled due to a technical issue elsewhere in the system. The 1600 sailing will be delayed due to the late departure of MV Clansman from Castlebay. We will update you as soon as we have more information”
It is winter Premier Inn here we come.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Jazz

 

[Chris S]

"Just a little prick"

Please keep your pillow talk to yourself.

 

[MontyVeda]

anything by Oasis... but youngsters these days worship them like youngsters in my day used to worship The Doors... it's not easy avoiding Oasis.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

anything by Oasis... but youngsters these days worship them like youngsters in my day used to worship The Doors... it's not easy avoiding Oasis.

Just buy Fanta

 

[Dave7]

My young Chinese lady doctor, wearing a disposable glove slavered with KY Jelly, about to check my prostate...
"Do you require a chaperone?"

Similar.
I watched the woman Doctor put a rubber glove on and I was wondering why!!
Then while sticking her fingers into a jar of lube she said......right, drop your trousers and lie on your side with your knees up.
AND THEN she said......you have to relax or this will hurt
I am thinking......how can I relax while you shove your hand up my a**e.

 

[Dave7]

02.30. Half way across the overnight crossing from Holland to Hull. Noise outside the cabin and we are told....."we have a fire we can't control, please go to your muster stations".
By 0400 they had it under control but not a nice experience.

 

[Drago]

anything by Oasis... but youngsters these days worship them like youngsters in my day used to worship The Doors... it's not easy avoiding Oasis.

Well, people are strange.

 

[MontyVeda]

Well, people are strange.

Thing is... I don't want to listen to The Doors either these days ...I don't know what we saw in them.

 

[Yellow Fang]

Your rear tyre is flat (particularly if it's the Brompton).

 

[Yellow Fang]

"I think there's a leak from your flat," from downstairs neighbour.

 

[lazybloke]

Squeak squeak squeak from vicinity of my newish pedals and BB.