Stupid sayings you use ?

[Maz]

On seeing an ambulance/fire engine/police car at spead with lights and sirens going....

"He won't sell many ice creams travelling at that speed"

I heard that one on Morecombe and Wise!

I also use that line, but when referring to Chavmobiles with window-rattling stereo systems.

 

[Kirstie]

I heard that one on Morecombe and Wise!

That's where it came from. I was trying to remember...
Generally most daft phrases really annoy me...! My friends husband is terrible for it and after half an hour in his company I am riled!

 

[ArDee]

When I was in a pub or restaurant with my father and one of the staff drops something, he always used to say "Sack the Juggler"

 

[oxbob]

Not really a saying as such, but if i need to swear in front of children "oh thunder buttocks!"

 

[Greedo]

I've got 4 sisters so my folks house was always really busy when we were kids with friends.

Whenever someone brought someone into the house my father had never met before he would always say without fail. (just making the persons name up)

My Dad: So what's your name?
person: Tony
My Dad: Tony what?
person: Tony McGurk
My Dad: so where do you McGurk from???

At that point he would just laugh?

 

[Sh4rkyBloke]

When I was in a pub or restaurant with my father and one of the staff drops something, he always used to say "Sack the Juggler"

I say that now. It's become almost second nature, but I've no idea where/who I got it from.

 

[Fnaar]

On seeing an ambulance/fire engine/police car at spead with lights and sirens going....

"He won't sell many ice creams travelling at that speed"

I do that too (Morecambe and Wise, as pointed out).
I also do the dentist 2.30 one.

Also, when I get home from work, I have the really annoying habit of singing the chorus from "Daddy's Home" by Cliff Richard

 

[pinkkaz]

When I was at school I used to work in Waitrose on Saturdays. Without fail, if an item didn't scan, the customer would go, "oh, that must mean it's free!" They thought they were so witty....

 

[Arch]

When I was at school I used to work in Waitrose on Saturdays. Without fail, if an item didn't scan, the customer would go, "oh, that must mean it's free!" They thought they were so witty....

oh yes. Very witty. Ours at Iceland used to say that too...

Along with "cheap at half the price" as a expression meaing "That's good value". Well, durrr, yes, it would be half the price. What you mean is <it would still be> "cheap at twice the price"...

 

[Kovu]

Taken from a friend I knew years and years ago. Me and a close mate still use it. Whenever an ambulance/fire engine/police etc are past, we always say "Here comes the Der Ders."

 

[gdean]

Said to pursuiters when I was trackside - "pedal faster...". I really should be a coach.

G.

 

[Twenty Inch]

When I'm departing: "As they say in Russia... Moscow!"

But they don't. They say "Moskva".

 

[HLaB]

Said to pursuiters when I was trackside - "pedal faster...". I really should be a coach.

G.

Well at least it wasn't "hey mista your back wheel is going round", its so funny and so original ho, ho,

 

[Abitrary]

If it's a nice day, I grab work colleagues by the tie, pull them up nose to nose, and threateningly whisper:

"I bet the weather presenter had his ready brek today".

I let them go when they eventually nod nervously.

 

[Keith Oates]

On hearing someone tell a 'tall story' my first wife used to say "he lies like a flat fish"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!