I'm not especially lightweight but the spokes on my commuting bike (DT Competition) have lasted 8 years so far and outlived one hub. I rebuilt the wheel with the original spokes and rim. I've never touched them apart from during the build process and the wheel is still true.
Spokes have to be decent quality and rather tight. If the rim doesn't allow them to be tight enough (a rim will go into a reversible pringle shape if over-tensioned, but even brass nipples will strip before you get to that point, with better rims) then choose a better rim.
The spokes also need to be squeezed and worked (I use an old crank wedged into the crossings) during the build. Jobst Brandt called this temporary overloading "stress relieving" but whether it really changes the metal at a microscopic level, or just rids the spokes of any soft bends that could flex in use, I can't be sure.
You can stand on a really good front wheel, axle on the floor and a foot on each side of the rim, and it won't be damaged. Derailleur rear wheels are far weaker because only half the spokes are really doing the work, so don't try this on one.