Splinters and the removal of.

[MontyVeda]

So I've gone and got a wood splinter in the ball of my foot, and it's really blumming annoying.

Tried squeezing it out to no avail and I'm no longer flexible enough to try to bite the little bugger out.
I have a fleeting recollection of someone on the radio saying something about cutting a raisin in half, placing it over the splinter and holding it in place with a plaster... but since the radio is 2nd only to the interweb for utter bollocks, I don't have much faith in this method... plus, it could have been a sultana, not a raisin, and i don't exactly have a bag of either handy.

Any tips on getting a wood splinter out??? I currently (pun intended) have a bit of the contents of an Eccles Cake* plastered to my foot

*it was either that or a Garibaldi insole

 

[Markymark]

I find the best way is to get my wife to take it out with tweezers whilst I'm crying and being told I'm her brave soldier.

 

[bancrobba]

Stanley knife

 

[helston90]

I have always used some magnesium sulphate- spread some on the splinter and cover with a plaster over night, draws it out lovely.

 

[MontyVeda]

I have always used some magnesium sulphate- spread some on the splinter and cover with a plaster over night, draws it out lovely.

is that found in Eccles Cakes?

 

[bancrobba]

Mr Kipling makes exceedingly good splinter removers

 

[numbnuts]

Hypo needle and tweezers

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Use a sewing needle to dig at the skin around it then tweezers to nip it our, ah, just seen @numbnuts posted this!

 

[vernon]

A Swann Morton number 10 blade to make a fine cut next to the splinter and lift it out.

 

[ColinJ]

Now is the splinter of our discontent

I made a dash for the classroom door when the bell rang at the end of a particularly boring school lesson. I tripped and my fingers slid down the door frame as I tried to break my fall. The frame had a split in it and a large splinter went under the nail of one finger, re-emerging at the other end of the nail!

You know how baddies sometimes torture victims by shoving bamboo splinters under their fingernails ...? Let me assure you that it would be a very effective way of getting them to talk - it was bloody agonising! I almost passed out.

I tried various ways of removing the splinter. They all failed, and in the end the pain got so bad that I just got a Stanley knife and cut the nail off to get at it. That brought a few tears to my eyes ...

A bum deal

I found 5 or 6 splinters embedded in a girlfriend's buttock once!

I wasn't sure what they were but I managed to extract one using a needle and a pair of tweezers. Having identified what it was, I went ahead and removed all of the others.

It turned out that she had slid down a badly maintained wooden slide when she was a small girl and had ended up with scores of splinters in her bum. She ran home in floods of tears and her parents spent a fun evening removing them - they evidently missed a few. The wood must have been very well protected by preservative because it had not rotted at all.

 

[Lullabelle]

Smear some soap onto a plaster, sprinkle some sugar on top of the soap then stick over offending plaster, this will draw it out

 

[vickster]

I find the best way is to get my wife to take it out with tweezers whilst I'm crying and being told I'm her brave soldier.

Or your mum

 

[Fnaar]

Smear some soap onto a plaster, sprinkle some sugar on top of the soap then stick over offending plaster, this will draw it out

Put some cheese on a cracker. Pour a glass of port. Fuggedabout the splinters.

 

[slowmotion]

Drink your week's rum ration, bite down on a piece of shoe leather, and excavate boldly with a needle. Dig deep. No need for keyhole surgery.

 

[Fnaar]

I found 5 or 6 splinters embedded in a girlfriend's buttock once! .

I often "get wood" when poised with my tool over Miss Goodbody's buttocks.