You say don’t bring up gravel bikes, by the sounds of it that’s exactly what your looking for, a comfy, endurance long distance cruiser, with a carbon frame, that you can fit 30 to 35 mm slick tyres, 2x chainset, 11 speed GRX drive train, maybe in di2 , you seem to be hung up on big brand bikes that are more racey than looking at what you need, the Orro that was linked to was ideal, you seem to be mistaking a gravel bike for an MTB, they’re not, quite possibly the best all round long distance bike out there, Pinarello , Orbea and Canyon all make them and they sound just what you’re describing