Small medical procedures you've carried out on yourself

[fossyant]

Removed a sewing machine needle from my wife's finger fairly recently. Broke off the machine and went in one side of her finger, and out the other. Had to work out which way it went in, and pull it out in reverse. Grabbed some pliers from the bike tools, and pulled it straight out.

I've removed a few, so called, dissolving stitches. They don't always dissolve, and when they start going gooey, time to pull out. Last time was from a 3cm long surgical incision in my nut. Had a few to pull out.

 

[fossyant]

I had a ganglion in my wrist a couple of times. The old saying of hit it with a bible works. I couldn't find a bible, so whacked my wrist onto the table top. Worked, but it came back after a while, so whacked it again. Never came back.

 

[Gillstay]

The nail with blood pressure under it can also be done by putting any cream / gel on the nail for a while till it softens and then pick at it with the pen knife, swiss army card needle till it breaks through. Handy when your in the jungle and no paper clips.
Warts, just dip a match in battery acid and then be careful when applying.

 

[Arrowfoot]

I stitched up a bullet wound in my own thigh, having used whiskey as an antisepctic and anaesthetic.

You forgot the part where the horse comes over, close to the fire.

 

[Arrowfoot]

This might be a bit delicate. When I was young, would hear adults talking in hush tones about an experienced hand, a housewife helping with an abortion for a young lass. Had no idea what and how and never did find who that person was. But from what I could glean, the neighbourhood and my parents sounded complimentary of this person and l understand no money changed hands.

 

[Cathryn]

I trapped my finger years ago, which caused the finger below the nail to swell, which was painful enough for me to pop to casualty. They drilled the nail to release the pressure, and the relief was instant

My model engineer dad did this…whacked his thumb nail, the pressure built up etc so he drilled a hole in his nail. That is why he will always be my hero!

 

[Trickedem]

I fairly regularly clean my ear wax out using a turkey baster and warm water after softening the wax for a few days with Otex ear drops.

Many years ago I had to cut my ingrown toenails. It was an awful job, but the pain relief once I got the side bits out was immense. Eventually I had my big toe nails surgically removed and thankfully they have never grown back.

 

[C R]

The thread title made me think of House.

In this episode, he tries to excise some tumours growing in his thigh muscles.

 

[fossyant]

I fairly regularly clean my ear wax out using a turkey baster and warm water after softening the wax for a few days with Otex ear drops.

Many years ago I had to cut my ingrown toenails. It was an awful job, but the pain relief once I got the side bits out was immense. Eventually I had my big toe nails surgically removed and thankfully they have never grown back.

Ingrowing nails are painful. I had one after I'd broken my back. Course couldn't cut my nails for about three months. Couldn't bend properly to do it. Realised if I could cut enough nail from the middle out, if you pull carefully it will tear following the cut. It worked and immediate relief. Couldn't get clippers near the edges.

 

[slowmotion]

I remember reading about a solo long distance sailor who removed his own appendix, mid-ocean, using instructions from a remote surgeon over his VHF radio link.

That's pretty impressive.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I remember reading about a solo long distance sailor who removed his own appendix, mid-ocean, using instructions from a remote surgeon over his VHF radio link.

That's pretty impressive.

Did it cure his toothache?

 

[slowmotion]

Did it cure his toothache?

I'm not sure what he used as an anaesthetic. Rum???

 

[fossyant]

I remember reading about a solo long distance sailor who removed his own appendix, mid-ocean, using instructions from a remote surgeon over his VHF radio link.

That's pretty impressive.

I don't think I could do that. I looked at the scar from the post I made above, just after surgery, then I realised what had gone on in the 3 hour operation. I nearly passed out. I hadn't sussed what was actually done until then. Micro surgery it wasnt.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

I've seen TASER barbs, in a Police Officers fingers, they're fairly impressive items!!

 

[Ridgeway]

Size 12 treble hook through my finger..... gave the rod to my youngest with the treble hooked through the eye, as i passed it to her it just caught in the side of my finger and then she ran off back to van with the rod, about half a second later the hook was half way through my finger. Up in the mountains with 3 children by a river..... so the tool box came out managed to force the hook through to the other side of the finger, snipped the barb off and then pulled the hook back through, no pain at all

Beyond human DIY surgery i've certainly done more on our animal friends over the years including stitching up wounded ferrets which is hard and painful in equal measures