Hi Psychic,
I hope you have not given up! You don't seem to have come on here for a while.
When I started a few weeks ago, my first ride to work was 5 miles. I rode very slowly on the grounds that I knew that bits of my body would be getting exercised for the first time in a long time. I did ache for the first few days and took it as easy as I could to begin with.
I think the advice you have been given is great, but one things strikes me by your statement. You seem to be interested in the gear you are using and speed you are travelling at. I don't think that is helpful at this stage. Just be interested in enjoying the ride. So what if you have to get off and rest, enjoy the view, take a camera, a flask, a book, whatever. Just enjoy the ride. The rest will come.
Best regards
Chris