Shoplifers

[Mr Phoebus]

There's a juggling/kite shop near here. It was originally called Selly Oak Juggling. The owner had made his own, wooden sign.

One evening someone decided to do their own editing of the sign.

For a couple of years henceforth it was known as "Selly Oak Tugging".

Back when I was a yoof, a few of us decided to change the local Newsagents name. It was 'MORGAN NEWS'. The large letters on the fascias were fixed on pegs.

Stood on my mates shoulders and borrowed an 'S' from the side fascia to make the front of the shop 'ORGASM NEWS'.
Within a few days the signwriters were there re-fixing the letters with large screws.
Somebody even photographed it and sent it into the local paper.

 

[yorkshiregoth]

yorkshiregoth,Ive just seen your location is Heathrow,That wouldnt be the Feltham Tesco's (faggs Rd) would it?? Feltham has some of the worst chav scum i have ever come across,I avoid it like the plague when cycling

No I also avoid that one, don't think my bike would still be there after shopping otherwise.

It was the one in Bulls Bridge.

 

[Aperitif]

No I also avoid that one, don't think my bike would still be there after shopping otherwise.

It was the one in Bulls Bridge.

Faggs Road ugh! (I live just round the corner ) The Bulls Bridge one is busy but generally nicer than the muffin top parade ground at the other place.

Parents bring their kids for breakfast usually, kick off with some crisps, a doughnut or two, sweets and a guzzle of additives: all part of the Tesco will to please!

 

[andy_wrx]

Re missing T's, the guy I used to work for lived in Penistone
(yes it exists, in S Yorks...)

He showed me a photograph of the post office/general store, where someone had stolen the T and so it had PENIS ONE POST OFFICE written above the door in foot-high letters.

 

[Nortones2]

I worked in the wine section of a Northern supermarket for a month. God, the boredom! The main task was to intercept OAPs nicking half bottles of gin. Other thing I learned was to watch for large boxes of breakfast cereals stacked up around contraband. They'd take the trolley to somewhere near the checkout, then scram with the whiskey, leaving the sugared cardboard behind. That was just the elderly. The youf? Stood out a mile - generally buggered off somewhere more chav-orientated, like Tesco, where they could fit in

 

[papercorn2000]

Some of you will have heard this story before...

When I worked for Iceland, we had a 'regular' lifter - a chap of about 80, thick specs, two hearing aids, two sticks and one of those mobility scooters. He'd park the scooter outside, shuffle in, shuffle round and help himself to a packet of scones or a Madeira cake. If we spotted him doing it, we just told him to put it back - the local bobby said he'd never get taken to court if we pressed charges, as he was so old and infirm.

So one day he came in and my boss and I were keeping an eye on him from where we were shelf filling, and we saw him pick up two things, then we lost sight of him and saw him pay for one and amble out to the scooter. Then, on the other side of the plate glass window, we watched him remove the Madeira cake from inside his coat and put it in the basket on the front, and get in (it was one of those with a big zip up hood on it). So we both went outside, to get the stuff back. My boss went round the side of the scooter to unzip it and challenge him, while I stood in front.

He looked me in the eye, 'gunned' the handlebars and drove straight at me! Luckily I was able to shift in time, or I'd have been flattened - it wasn't one of those lightweight fold up ones, it would have been pretty heavy! We watched in amazement as he made his getaway up the busy pavement, people scattering out of his way!

We joked that we should get a scooter ourselves, paint it white, and put a blue light on it, for chases....

Check this out then!

 

[yorkshiregoth]

Never seen that ad before, prefer the snowman one though

 

[Mr Phoebus]

Some of you will have heard this story before...

When I worked for Iceland, we had a 'regular' lifter - a chap of about 80, thick specs, two hearing aids, two sticks and one of those mobility scooters. He'd park the scooter outside, shuffle in, shuffle round and help himself to a packet of scones or a Madeira cake. If we spotted him doing it, we just told him to put it back - the local bobby said he'd never get taken to court if we pressed charges, as he was so old and infirm.

So one day he came in and my boss and I were keeping an eye on him from where we were shelf filling, and we saw him pick up two things, then we lost sight of him and saw him pay for one and amble out to the scooter. Then, on the other side of the plate glass window, we watched him remove the Madeira cake from inside his coat and put it in the basket on the front, and get in (it was one of those with a big zip up hood on it). So we both went outside, to get the stuff back. My boss went round the side of the scooter to unzip it and challenge him, while I stood in front.

He looked me in the eye, 'gunned' the handlebars and drove straight at me! Luckily I was able to shift in time, or I'd have been flattened - it wasn't one of those lightweight fold up ones, it would have been pretty heavy! We watched in amazement as he made his getaway up the busy pavement, people scattering out of his way!

We joked that we should get a scooter ourselves, paint it white, and put a blue light on it, for chases....

A lot of people will say...."Oh, he's really old and a bit senile, he's not the full ticket" He actually sounds quite calculating and crafty with it too.

 

[Globalti]

Being senile doesn't stop you being clever and devious - my Dad was all three for a few years before he shuffled off.

I witnessed an arrest of shoplifters in a big store a few weeks ago - on a quiet weekday afternoon, hardly anybody in the shop, when suddenly three young blokes erupted from the back of the store, spread out and sprinted silently on thick rubber shoes to the front where they grabbed an elderly bloke, who they must have been watching on CCTV. Quite impressive.

Got caught up in one when I was a student - spotted an elderly woman assistant struggling with a young guy to remove something from his coat pocket so I grabbed him and held his arms from behind. She unloaded a handful of small transisitor radios from him and suddenly his mate arrived, having just unloaded his pockets back onto the shelves. As they left one took a swing at me and broke one of my teeth. Police came, couldn't find them, store owner gave me a fiver out of the till.

 

[Arch]

A lot of people will say...."Oh, he's really old and a bit senile, he's not the full ticket" He actually sounds quite calculating and crafty with it too.

Oh, I've no doubt. He tried to come in the following week, and the manager told him he was barred for trying to run down a member of staff, and he was all confused and innocent-like...

But I saw the look in his eye as he made off - he knew what he was doing!

Also, when we'd recovered from the surprise and sent one of the lads out to follow him on foot, he managed to lose them in the alleyways between and behind the shops - he knew exactly which narrow little jitties he could barrel down at high speed!

 

[Mr Phoebus]

he managed to lose them in the alleyways between and behind the shops - he knew exactly which narrow little jitties he could barrel down at high speed!

I've now got the image of three mobility scooters riding down a large sewer pipe a la Italian Job.