Serious cycling thread.

[tyred]

A serious cyclist rides a Raleigh Twenty in one of two ways.

1/ In disguise.

2/ Dressed in 'old ladies' clothes for a charity event.

Which is it when you ride yours?

 

[HLaB]

How can I change my name to bonj?

It's far easier than becoming a serious cyclist!

Or you could become Joe24 and be even more serious.

 

[jimboalee]

Which is it when you ride yours?

Full Columbia Highroad replica kit, false beard and moustach and a pair of those comedy specs where the eyeballs hang out on springs.

i.e. In disguise.

 

[tyred]

Full Columbia Highroad replica kit, false beard and moustach and a pair of those comedy specs where the eyeballs hang out on springs.

i.e. In disguise.

Sounds like fun

If anyone on a carbon bling machine laughs at me whilst I'm riding my Twenty, I will take it as a compliment as they obviously don't own one and are just jealous of mine

 

[Brahan]

Or you could become Joe24 and be even more serious.

Slow down HLaB, I can't believe you're already considering being more serious. Have you actually been confirmed as serious yet?

 

[Gerry Attrick]

We ARE on topic.

Firstly we have to distinguish between the 'Serious cyclist' and the 'all the gear - no idea' brigade.

The serious cyclists are the ones who grunt and agree whenever anyone in the group starts talking about bike races or bike components. They give a 'grumpy' impression although they know all about what is being said while at the same time are formulating their own opinions, of either the subject matter, or the guy who's chattering.

They never speak of what training they've done or what rides they've been on. This adds to the mystery of why they can ride along effortlessly while the others are puffing and panting.

They never, never mention the testing and calculations they've done to prepare their nutrition. They never admit they've scoured the map and know exactly when to eat a chunk of glucose brick for the up-coming hill.

They remain enigmatic throughout. Even to the degree of wearing undershirts from the Army-Navy store and not from Wiggle.
They wear a cheapo helmet, £5 mittens from Wilkinsons and a £9.99 road jersey off the bargain rail.

Yet they can get round a 200 Rando and sign their card without a judder.

This post should be relegated to a non-serious cyclists thread. By explaining all this to the non-serious cyclists who may stumble upon it, Jimbo has joined the ranks of non-serious cyclists. (If that's ok with you Bonj?)

 

[Landslide]

Should I consider pumping my frame & inner tubes full of helium, in order to make it easier for me get up hills?

No. It diffuses out of the inner tubes too quickly, as the US track cycling team discovered when they tried it in 1984 for the Olympics (IIRC).

 

[Landslide]

It better not! I spent the best part of three hours swearing in the kitchen last night with two bottles of Weston's Reserve and a hacksaw to assist in the application of my first ever mudguards. I was hoping if anything that they would help add to my seriousness as a cyclist.

How many SPs (seriousness points) for mudgaurds?

Cider and a hacksaw? Have you not been taking our advice?

 

[tyred]

I might drill 3/8" holes in my brake cables to make my bike lighter

 

[4F]

I might drill 3/8" holes in my brake cables to make my bike lighter

You cannot be serious ?

 

[tyred]

Deadly serious

 

[Brahan]

Deadly serious

Winner!

 

[jimboalee]

This post should be relegated to a non-serious cyclists thread. By explaining all this to the non-serious cyclists who may stumble upon it, Jimbo has joined the ranks of non-serious cyclists. (If that's ok with you Bonj?)

OK, I admit, I'm a non-serious cyclist.

A non-serious cyclist doesn't give a hoot about Audax routesheets. He checks where the controls are and goes the way HE wants to go.

A non-serious cyclist doesn't give hoot about motorists. He rides in the middle of the lanes when approaching an island and looks round with a face like "YOU DARE!"

A non-serious cyclist has never read a book that has 'Cyclecraft' in it's title. He has been riding through Birmingham traffic since he was eight years old and races the No. 37 bus back to Solihull.

A non-serious cyclist doesn't piss about waiting at a red light when there's bugger all other traffic in sight.

 

[jimboalee]

And finally,,,,

A non-serious cyclist doesn't give a hoot about jingoistic upstarts and nevawozzers on chatboards who laugh at gearing formulae which were devised by professional cyclists who were winning races long before all the participants on this forum were born.

 

[Fab Foodie]

No. It diffuses out of the inner tubes too quickly, as the US track cycling team discovered when they tried it in 1984 for the Olympics (IIRC).

I think you need toleave this thread for actually being serious...
That's bonj's job.