Seeking a Qualification (Mature Student)

[Kirstie]

Forward away. Only with the clear proviso that it's a joke. I don't want to get in trouble!

The degree is awarded by the OU's little known Department of Ego Studies. Located in Arts and Social Sciences Faculty. With this PGDip it's practically reversed its financial fortunes, tripled its student population, and it can afford for some of its staff can even go on sabbaticals, to sharpen their aims (and objectives).

 

[Speicher]

I am quite a nice, pleasant person, most of the time , so I do not necessarily want to start shooting people. They are, of-course, entitled to their opinions, however, erroneous, boring and full of tediocrity they and their opinions may be.

One of them actually suggested that the best way to get rid of a cold, is to consume half a bottle of whiskey and one dozen paracetamols. At this point I can almost hear you saying, "but they were joking", they were not. I agreed, that this would be an excellent way of getting rid of a cold, what a shame it would also get "rid of" the person who had the cold. When, as the sensibilised person that I am, I pointed out that it was a lethal combination, and the victim would likely die or suffer severe brain damage if they were sick while unconcious, I was castigated for being "argumentative".

On another occasion, their suggestion for getting rid of a cold was to run five miles. So I said, yes, find your running shoes, and shorts, and I will take you out in my car to a point five miles from here. When you get back you can tell me how much better you feel, and on that basis we could decide if it was a good remedy for me to take!

Perhaps I make the mistake of thinking they have a modicum of intelligence, and I forget that my very subtle responses are beyond their comprehension. Perhaps they are so full of facts and figures, that there is no further room for common sense, or common courtesy. Are they so frightened that someone has a opinion which is slightly different, that their only defence is aggression.

 

[barq]

It is mostly my younger relatives, sisters in law, and vague acquaintances.
They all seem to think that ONLY their opinion is valid. For instance, I was criticised for choosing to go to Scandinavia (again, but a different part) by someone who said, "But there is nothing there".
Had they been there, NO,

Ha! I do sympathise.

I have an older brother who has been very successful in his career however he has a tendency to confuse this with being an expert in everything. The funniest example ever was when we had an argument about which area of Birmingham Aston was in. Despite the fact I lived there he refused to accept I was right.

I guess it is harder when people are making comments about your life or decisions, but I think the only thing you can do is to politely ignore it or simply laugh at their ignorance.

 

[barq]

One of them actually suggested that the best way to get rid of a cold, is to consume half a bottle of whiskey and one dozen paracetamols. At this point I can almost hear you saying, "but they were joking", they were not. I agreed, that this would be an excellent way of getting rid of a cold, what a shame it would also get "rid of" the person who had the cold. .

The was a Ukrainian joke along similar lines. After the Chernobyl disaster the supposed cure for radiation sickness among the workers was to take a bottle of wine and some vodka, pour a few drops of wine into a glass and top up with vodka. Keep going until you have finished the wine.

Very black sense of humour.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

I think this apparent refusal to accept experience and knowledge is something which has been born of the education system of the last ten or so years. In my work I am responsible for training new recruits and experienced staff in a subject I will not bore you with. It would seem logical to receive more challenges from people who have performed the work for years with the benefit of their experiences than from the new recruits. Not so. Some of the teenagers straight from school have a confrontational attitude which can beggar belief. Is it because schools are so intent on not inflicting "psychological harm" on their students that they do not challenge the students' perceived opinions? Or is education so good that they are qualified in the finer points of every subject?

 

[Speicher]

Ha! I do sympathise.

I have an older brother who has been very successful in his career however he has a tendency to confuse this with being an expert in everything. The funniest example ever was when we had an argument about which area of Birmingham Aston was in. Despite the fact I lived there he refused to accept I was right.

I guess it is harder when people are making comments about your life or decisions, but I think the only thing you can do is to politely ignore it or simply laugh at their ignorance.

My sister in law once argued with me about where the nearest railway station was to where I live, even tho I had lived in the same house for five years. She also argued with me that Danish is the language spoken in Iceland. I had just spent ten days there on holiday, but of-course she knew better.

I think it might be a case of some people's brains not having the capacity to add information to their brain or memory when the new information may be slightly different to what they already know. Such that she had read once somewhere that Iceland "belonged" to Denmark. Yes, but that ended over one thousand years ago, (it was one of the facts passed on to us by our extremely knowledgeable Icelandic Guide). And now someone who has visited the country recently has a new "nugget" of information and she is unable to process that into her brain.

I also had a lengthy discussion with her when I described a certain train journey which involved changing trains at Brennero (near the border of Austria and Italy). She was absolutely adamant that I must have caught the "wrong" train. She suggested that I should have started my journey in completely the opposite direction to the one I intended to travel in, in order to be on (in her view) the "right" train, thus adding approx two hours to the length of the journey. My attempts to explain to her, that I was able to find out that timetables at Brennero are in the coffee shop, and tickets are sold in what passes for a "cupboard", when I do not speak Italian, were obviously so far removed from her sphere of comprehension. I think she can regurgitate info, but not take new info "on board".

Perhaps I should be grateful that I can seek out, recognise, and evaluate new information, or take steps to find it out, and reprocess this with existing data already embedded in my memory. I am not referring to research on atomic particle physics, just basic common sense, observation skills, comparative skills, and remembering things.

 

[Andy in Sig]

I first of all added this to the thread about People's qualifications, but realised it would take the topic too far off topic.

There is a qualification I was hoping to obtain, but courses on this subject are very difficult for me to find. Any way, I have tried taking it in the form of modules, but in my case at least, no one takes any notice. At my age I thought I would have gained this qualification by default, but anyone younger or older than me, seems to think not.

I am referring to a Qualification That Would Allow Me To Express A Personal Opinion Without People Arguing With Me. My experience in this field so far is that I have been on this planet enough years to know what I like. I am very happy for people to suggest an alternative to my preferences, and I would be very happy to try them. But why am I being told by many people "You Must Do xyz", or "You Cannot Possibly Even Think About Doing ABC".

This is particularly vexing when the person's suggestion is, IMHO, quite ludicrous, but I have been too polite to say so. I would add that I refer to Personal Opinions, like where to go on holiday, when to go on holiday, which wine I like to drink, which foods I do not particularly like.

Perhaps on occasions I have given the wrong impression by refusing to be drawn into an argument, and that makes people even more determined that their preferences are Absolutely The Correct Ones. Does any one have any experience of not having the Qualification to which I refer?

Get a shotgun or a pistol like a Sig-Sauer 228 (whichever you feel more comfortable with) and when the would be critical mouth starts to open close the shotgun/cock the pistol while keeping one eyebrow raised in a querulous manner. This usually works.

 

[domtyler]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assertiveness

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss...ld-keywords=assertiveness&Go.x=0&Go.y=0&Go=Go

 

[HJ]

Mature Student is the second greatest oxymoron is the English language (after military intelligence), I know I was one. When I was at Aberdeen the oldest undergrad there was 82 and he was on his third degree (he got his first one before most of the senior staff were born)...

 

[Monst]

Speicher. sorry to interupt but on reading your thoughts one has to agree with you about how, lets say 'annoying' some folks are, but instead of thinking too deeply about the why and the wherefors just develop a sense of humour and tell them to fu** off. Just knowing that one is better than the morons you meet in life is half the battle.

 

[Arch]

Speicher, it sounds like your family are people who are "wired for out, only". They'll just keep giving their opinion, and ignoring yours. It really is amazing the extent to which some people can keep this up, in the face of solid evidence as to their wrongness.

Arguing is pointless, unless you are enjoying it. I would practice a look of mild interest, while you are actually thinking about something else....

 

[simonali]

The problem is Speicher, that too many people on here already have the "If I want Your Opinion, I'll Give It To You" qualification. They are very difficult to trump I am afraid. I think Bonj has a Phd in it actually

That's what your ignore list is for. I've not been here long and mine has a few know-alls on it already!

 

[Speicher]

Speicher, it sounds like your family are people who are "wired for out, only". They'll just keep giving their opinion, and ignoring yours. It really is amazing the extent to which some people can keep this up, in the face of solid evidence as to their wrongness.

Arguing is pointless, unless you are enjoying it. I would practice a look of mild interest, while you are actually thinking about something else....

I think that sums them up very well really. I do not like arguing, I don't want to change their views on things, just wish they would accept that I have different ways of doing things. Perhaps over the years, if they behave like this with everyone, then everyone has told them, however politely to ******* off. I have cultivated a look of disinterest, but they see this as a challenge.

People I have worked with, and people who know me reasonably well, are quite happy to accept that I will express my opinions, however different to theirs. I think this is because I express those opinions politely, without arrogance.

 

[Arch]

I think you should work out a few plainly idiotic opinions, and counter your rellies with those. See how long you can maintain absolute seriousness...

 

[Crackle]

Speicher, direct does not work with people like that (as you know) but they all have their fears. Plant some seeds, subconsciously and watch them grow. Water them occassionally and pretty soon you'll be able to direct the conversation just by mention of the things you planted some time ago.